Serenity: Allegro
by Flannery Chalke
Summary: Three years later after her mysterious departure, River's past and Mal's future collide with surprising and terrifying results. MalRiver. Brace yourself for a very long chapter.
1. The Departure

**Name**: Flannery Chalke

**Title**: Serenity: Allegro

**Rating**: K+ (eventually T for language and anything else I can think up.)

**Disclaimer:** All characters (w/ the exception of Liz) come from the mind of Joss Whedon. They belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Fox, Universal, and anyone else with legal hold. I'm just along for the ride.

**_Please please please_ review**!

**Chapter 1 – The Departure**

She left a hologram on the pilot's chair in a brown paper envelope. At times, this act hurt Simon Tam more than his sister's actual departure, that Captain Malcolm Reynolds had found it first, had seen it first. She'd given no notice, no sign of unhappiness, she wasn't getting better or worse. She wasn't showing unease at his budding relationship with Kaylee. One night she sat with the crew and the next morning she was gone. And she'd let Mal know first.

Mal had to watch it twice to believe the mechanical rendering of River's serene voice. At the word "leave" he stopped listening in shock and had to rewind to hear the message in its entirety. He gave the hologram to Simon without a word and the crew gathered in the galley to watch River's translucent torso, River in a torn sweater with brown hair cascading, hazel eyes swimming with unshed tears in a moment of lucidness they'd never seen in her before.

"I'm sorry Simon, everyone, to leave like this. But I've found someone who can fix me. He can take the demons away. You worked so hard, and you saved me Simon; you've always taken care of me. But you can't fix me. It's my turn to try. Please don't come looking for me Simon. You wont find me. I don't want you to. I am so so sorry Simon. But, I think I've found," she paused, "hope. Hope for serenity." The hologram fizzled and Mal unplugged it.

Simon's hands cradled his head. "She has no money, no food, no contacts. How is she…she doesn't know how to protect herself." He shuddered at Kaylee's attempt at embrace and she withdrew looking sad and hurt. The arms of his sweater muffled Simon's lamentations.

Mal sighed. River was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, and she had a co-pilots salary to keep her going, a minor monetary transaction they'd slipped behind Simon's radar on more than one occasion. In truth, River would be fine, but Simon was another matter. He'd dedicated the past two years to fixing River and this was a clear vocalization of what the crew had feared. Simon didn't know how to fix River, and now, faced with that fact and the loss of his beloved sister, he buckled under fear and resignation.

"Well, I guess there's nothin' we can do now," Mal sighed again. This was all too much.

"Yes we can, we can go look for her." Simon bolted out of his chair, knocking it over. Mal took several steps and grabbed the man by the shoulders.

"Think for a moment, will you. We're on Persephone, one o' the largest planets in Allied space. She could be anywhere, she could be miles from here, and there's not a gorram thing we can do to find her. No way to track her, none." Simon struggled against the captain's hands and his own helplessness.

"I suggest you sit tight and deal with whatever you've got sittin' on you. I need to fire this boat up 'cause in case anyone's forgotten, we got a job to do." He turned quickly and started towards the cockpit. Zoë turned to follow.

"She's family," the broken voice called from behind him, "If she were Zoë or Jayne or Kaylee, you'd tear this world apart until you found them. You said so yourself, River is a member of this crew, and she's family. Your family and mine." Simon's voice rose.

"And yet you're not doing ANYTHING." The distraught doctor swung a clumsy punch, lost his balance, and fell into Mal. He nodded at Kaylee who took the weight of Simon from him. Mal motioned to Zoë who helped Kaylee set Simon down and went to get him a drink. Simon went slack in Kaylee's arms.

Mal continued his trek to the cockpit, and, making sure no one had followed him, took the stolen hologram from the pocket of his brown trousers. He set it into the reader once more.

"I'm sorry Simon, everyone, to leave like this. But I've found someone who can fix me. He can take the demons away. You worked so hard, and you saved me Simon; you've always taken care of me. But you can't fix me. It's my turn to try. Please don't come looking for me Simon. You wont find me. I don't want you to. I am so so sorry Simon. But, I think I've found," she paused, "hope. Hope for serenity."

The hologram fizzled and continued,

"You help him Mal. You keep him with you." The hard eyes hardened, "You don't come lookin' for me, understand? You understand Mal; I need this, to be whole again. This is my chance." She cocked her head to one side, typical River.

"You say love keeps a ship flying when it shouldn't, when it's broken into tiny pieces. Love doesn't work on me. Not from Simon. Not from you."

The image went dead.

Mal leaned forward and rested his forehead on his palm.

_**Three Years Later…**_

It was raining on Beaumonde, which did nothing to slacken the brightness of the planet-city's fluorescent lights and holograms swimming with Chinese characters. The battered ship Serenity made a rickety landing and its tired crew trudged out one by one into the wetness.

The past three years hadn't been kind to the good ship Serenity and its crew. Simon had emotionally shriveled up without River. He mourned her as though she was dead, and, in effect, she was. They'd heard nothing from her in three years, nor were there any new information on the cortex that suggested she might have been captured or still on the run. His constant brooding damaged his relationship with Kaylee, whose affections remained unwavering nonetheless. Her ready smile slowed.

Zoë never recovered from the death of Wash, her husband. Reevers had killed him on the distant planet Miranda a year before River's departure. Her wry sense of humor was the first to go, closely followed by her sense of compassion. She'd never been outspoken in the first place, only speaking when she thought it was necessary or when spoken to, but now, she saw no reason to do it at all. She answered Mal and the rest of the crew, who at the beginning went out of their way to engage her in conversation, but after several of these sessions, it just wasn't worth it. Like Simon, Zoë too became robotic, and worse, methodical with military precision. She did her job, targeted the bad guy, and took him out with less thought of her own well-being. She was injured more often and more severely, and Simon, also precise, patched her up without comment.

Jayne, always roguish, had also been injured. A particularly bad shot to the chest kept him infirm for over a month, much to the mercenary's chagrin.

Serenity saw one addition to the crew, a computer specialist named Elizabeth Hecht. She was on the run and she was funny, and given the bleak mood of Serenity's current passengers, Mal took her on the latter alone. She proved useful enough on the occasional job; she could hack and mess with electric wiring, and thus earned her passage along with everyone else.

Beaumonde's dark sky was as black as the crew's mood. Serenity was out of food, out of gas, and in need of minor repair. After making sure Simon was under Zoë's hawkeyed watch, Kaylee disappeared into the black in search of new parts. Liz, wrapped in a waterproof cloak, followed her. Mal and Jayne melted through the crowds in the busy street. The rain made everyone clumsy and hurried, and in no time the two made their way to the Snake Charmer, a seedy club known for the owner's fine collections of exotic serpents and women.

Mal tried to brush the wet off his coat and ran a hand through his soaking hair. He and Jayne checked their guns and worked their way to the back of the club. Jayne hungrily eyed the scantly clad women dangling large snakes from their necks. Moving slowly so as not to draw any unwanted attention, the two thieves made their way behind a fake rock outcropping, part of the club's strange décor. Mal flashed a card to a partially hidden bouncer, and a side panel opened. With a quick glance behind, Mal slipped through the hole in the wall. Jayne followed.

They immediately recognized their contact sitting at a table at the back of the room. All tables ran games of chance and betting with tiny holograms showing wagers. Women, ships, artifacts, all were fair game. However, this was not Mal's purpose and he sat down across from Viper. The man was famous for his giant ear spacers in which two baby vipers hung. Tiny sacks of the snake's poisonous venom rested underneath his long yellow fingernails and would burst on contact, seeping into the flesh wound of an adversary. Mal always kept one eye on Viper's hands.

A tray appeared and the three men took the traditional shots of firewater. It was a sign of truce, that men were more or less more honest when slightly intoxicated. Mal shook his head, trying to clear the buzz.

"Here's a sample, but there's more where it came from." Mal set a glass vial on the table. "And that was gorram hard to get, so you'd better be willing to pay askin'…"

Before he could finish, gunshots rang out from the club's main room. In the alcove, the shady figures were hastily shoving money and papers into bags and pockets and looking for alternate ways out. Viper snatched the vial and took off running. He swiped a decorative curtain aside and ran down a flight of stairs with Mal and Jayne in hot pursuit.

The stairs led to a long and dimly lit corridor. A booming bass line suggested that they were underneath an adjacent club. They followed footsteps up to the main floor. Viper was making his way across the dance floor. The tiny snakes waved their forked tongues at the dancers, most of which were too drugged to notice. Deciding to take a cautious route, Mal worked his way along the walls. Viper lugged himself up a staircase to the second floor balcony and fell exhausted into a chair. His gestures suggested that he was now in the company of henchmen, and despite the noise and haze of the club, Mal could make out two words distinctly, "soma," the drug in the vial, and "Serenity."

"Jayne, they're goin' to try for the rest of the supply on the ship. You've gotta get back there, and wave Zoë and Simon. Someone needs to protect that boat, and I've got a score to settle with this rat bastard."

Jayne took off in the direction of the main exit and Mal continued to make his way toward the balcony stairs. Its ledge wasn't very wide; there was just enough room for a few tables and a tiny bar from which Viper was liberally helping himself. Mal drew his gun.

"I'm expectin' some payment. I took a nasty one right between the shoulder blades getting my hands on your soma, not to mention a few ruffled hairs. Now normally I'm not one for fussing, but you see, I was havin' a good hair day. Lookin' at your clientele, I'd say you're more than capable of making a profit, so pay up."

A cocked gun to his right temple made Mal's grin falter slightly, but he tried to maintain composure. The thug holding it grunted sadistically.

"Was that yer companion went out few minutes ago? 'Cause the way I see it, yer in no place to be makin' any demands." Viper leaned back in his chair and downed a shot of firewater.

"Now gents, I'm fraid I don't see the problem. I'm not lookin' to run out with your fairy dust, I'm just looking for some money. Your runnin' out back there didn't make for the noblest behavior. Where's the honor among thieves."

Viper laughed, "I think we're all gonna take a little walk back to yer ship. I know you keep a light crew; they shouldn't be a problem, specially if you tell 'em to stand down. They're a loyal crew, aren't they Capt'n? They won't fight seeing as I've got a bullet for yer brain, will they?"

A sickening crack crunched next to his right ear and Mal ducked as the gun went flying out of the thug's hand. It shot Mal's bullet right between Viper's eyes. He fell to the ground, the tiny vipers hissing at the disturbance. A booted foot whipped over his head, knocking another thugs gun away, and a gloved hand landed a punch to his neck, dropping him cold. Mal worked his way back to the stairs as the veiled figure incapacitated the rest of the gang, and before he could speak, it grabbed his arm and pulled him down the stairs and through the crowd.

The lights, the noise, and the alcohol swimming in his veins made it hard to comprehend what exactly was happening. He knew he'd been saved, that Serenity was in serious danger, and his arm was being pulled _hard_.

Never dropping his arm, the figure pulled him through the crowed streets. Mal looked back once and saw several hooded figures trying to follow. They opened fire despite the crowds. Most ducked and screamed, and his guide took a quick turn. They wove through the maze of streets and alleyways, the hoods always following behind.

The rain lightened up, and Mal began to notice changes. There were fewer painted signs and street vendors, fewer homeless people sleeping on the walks and begging for change. They passed a gilded street sign and his companion slowed to a quick walk. The covered face turned and looked back. Mal did as well and saw the thugs hesitate. This was the Alliance quadrant, and there was one rule on Beaumont. If you didn't bother the Alliance territory, they didn't go out of their way to bother you.

Mal's veiled guide turned another corner and entered through large doors into a well-lit lobby. It dropped his hand and pulled a mirror out of the folds of its cloak. It was angled specifically to catch the feed behind the security desk. Mal could see the hooded figures had decided to risk exposure and were wandering down the vibrant street searching for their targets. The figure made to grab his wrist, but Mal pulled away. Deciding to leave him behind, it took off across the lobby and Mal stumbled to follow.

Unfortunately this caught the attention of a thug who happened to looking at the building's etched glass doors, and he took off after the fugitives.

Mal turned a corner and swore. His guide was gaining distance down the corridor and Mal spurred himself on. The hood, still in pursuit, managed to view the flap of Mal's brown coat as he turned another corner.

Mal didn't realize until too late that his guide had stopped running and tripped in his attempt to stop himself. The figure pulled him up and made to keep going.

"Stop…stop…River, stop," Mal pleaded, fighting for breath. His head was still fuzzy, and it made the sound of approaching footsteps thud. The head whipped back and Mal caught the glaring hazel eyes through his haze, the last thing he'd seen three years ago on the hologram announcing her departure.

River whipped off her cloak and veils. She hasn't changed, he thought as she reached forward and pulled off his wet coat. Same wavy brown hair, same piercing eyes. River threw their garments behind a large potted plant, and taking his arm, she led him forward.

His shock and lack of oxygen had kept him from noticing the tinkling sound of laughter and clinking glasses in a room up ahead. Despite their obvious neglect of dress code, no one noticed the girl in a swishy torn frock and torn black leggings and the man with an empty leather gun holster. She took up dance position, and to the music, led him across the room.

He didn't know how to dance but always astute, River led them through changes in formation and direction. He tried to catch her eyes once more, if only to convince himself that it actually was her, but no, she had her eyes on the door, on the guards, on the security cameras. She was still a weapon, but she'd mastered control. They changed formation, and Mal found himself facing the direction River had previously occupied.

"So, how'd you know it was me?"

"Well xiao mei-mei, you've got a pretty distinct fightin' style. My question is how'd you know it was _me_?"

"I'm not exactly xiao mei-mei anymore. And you forget." She tilted her head to one side and made a crazy face. He shook his head.

"Wait, spin me," she demanded quickly, and Mal lifted his arm to let her through. While turning, she glanced back. The thug had given up and no one else had followed. The two danced back to their entrance point. After checking for spectators, Mal fished his coat out from behind the plant, but River shook her head when he lifted her veils. She grinned.

"I don't need those anymore."

Mal couldn't help but smile and took her hand as they walked down a different hall, which River assured him was a viable way out. It really was River, alive, and he was holding her flesh. She had to be real.

Though he would never admit it, he'd dreamed of finding her, stumbling across her path. Sometimes by accident, sometimes by grand entrance, but she would always smile. She'd fix herself and fold once more into Serenity's tiny family. Because she was family, and like it or not, he needed her as much as anyone else on that boat. She would fix Simon who would fix Kaylee and maybe Zoë; she'd get to meet Liz. River squeezed his hand.

"Yes, you found me." The serene voice had changed. It was soft but sure in a way it never was before, in a way it wasn't capable of before.

Suddenly she shifted. River pushed Mal against a wall and took his head in her hands.

"Trust me," she whispered and brought her mouth down on his. Soft lips met with a quiet intensity he hadn't experienced in years. His first impulse was to push her away, it was _River_ after all, but in confusion and personal conflict, his hands floundered and finally rested on her tiny shoulders. Special hell be damned, he was slightly drunk, cold, and this felt nice. She shifted her head and whispered, "Neck."

By this time it was obvious that several men were walking toward the couple, and they sounded extremely angry. Mal couldn't help but hesitate; after all, still _River_ here, she'd been gone for three years and now his senses had the added befuddlement from the vanished sensation of his first kiss in months. His lips slowly met the soft skin under her ear and his hand moved to her tiny waist.

"There's a gun strapped to my left thigh. You'll need it," the tiny voice whispered again. Lips still pressed to her neck, Mal reached down and let his hand trail up her thigh under the wavy skirt of her dress. He pulled it from the holster but let his hand remain hidden under the cloth. Alliance security surrounded them.

"Separate, the both of you," a helmeted man commanded. Mal raised his head to evaluate the situation, his vision partially obstructed by River's cascading hair. He noticed her eyes flicker in his periphery. She could see the security team reflected in his eyeballs. An officer moved forward and grabbed River's shoulder, aiming to separate them by force.

Two sets of eyes met briefly, and before Mal could respond to her silent call for action, River's boot kicked back between the legs of an approaching officer. River turned with a tiny squelch and the leg kicked high shattering through the officer's helmet. His screams resounded through the hallway and Mal ducked to avoid the gunfire.

They were no match for River Tam. Mal tried to aim at the weak points in the team's body armor, but what was the point? River jabbed, ducked, punched, and dived from person to person, dodging bullets and clumsy attempts at self-protection. It was beautiful, graceful, and over in less a minute.

She didn't even need a moment to catch her breath. Mal's gaze was drawn to River's boot. A small bloody knife protruded through the heel and toe. She shifted her weight and they silently disappeared into the worn base.

"I'll meet you at the ship, I know where it is. I've gotta get something" She turned to leave.

"River no. You can't just disappear again. You can't do that t' Simon. Or to me."

She turned, her face pained, but she looked and met his eyes once more.

"I'm coming home. Don't you fret." And with that, she took off.


	2. The Arrival

**Name**: Flannery Chalke

**Title**: Serenity: Allegro

**Rating**: T for language (and maybe some sexuality later on if I can write it.)

**_Please please please_ review**. It's like sugar and caffeine combined and shot straight into the bloodstream (I'm assuming). I will love you forever if you do!

**Disclaimer:** All characters (w/ the exception of Liz) come from the mind of Joss Whedon. They belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Fox, Universal, and anyone else with legal hold. I'm just along for the ride.

**Thanks** _so_ much to the lovely reviewers of my first chapter: Donna Lynn, Buffycoo999, Deirdre Reivyn, and angelcat70, you all totally made not just my day but the entire week! Grazie grazie grazie!

On with the show!

_00000_

**Chapter Two – The Arrival**

Mal was drunk, confused, and feeling slightly giddy. Or maybe that was the alcohol, too. Ok, the alcohol and River, who had swung in and out of his life just long enough to throw him completely out of whack. He adopted a swagger and gave the concierge a nod on the way out the massive etched glass doors. He liked to mess with civilians as much as any vagabond, and this seemed as good a time as any. He stopped in the middle of the street with a start.

"Where the tyen shiao duh am I?"

River had probably dragged him halfway across Beaumont-Proper and he had no idea where that was. He swung around. The ornate street signs and hovering gas lamps were no help. They only affirmed what he already knew, that he could _not_ stay here long.

He closed his eyes. "Gotta go with my gut. And my gut says… wuh de tyen." And suddenly, as sure as anything, he was walking forward. Mal looked around; there was nothing out of the ordinary, just his legs taking him for a walk. People were passing by and no one seemed to notice the man who was being pushed, not exactly pushed per say, but he wished someone would recognize the obvious disconnect between his legs and his brain. You see, his brain had no idea what was going on but his legs were moving with the assurance of a local.

"Don't fight it, stupid," resonated in his skull, and he whipped around looking for the source. Now he was starting to get some stares. Resigned, he clenched his fists and let his legs do the guiding.

As the roads become more crowded and dirty, Mal felt more at ease with the psychic push between his shoulder blades. He began to recognize vendors and signs he'd passed going the opposite direction with River. _With River who is really back._ For some reason, the thought didn't want to settle.

He turned a corner stopped when his boot made a loud crunch. He'd stepped on a discarded rattan umbrella, still soaking from the previous rain. It had a large hole in it etched with burn marks. So did some of the paving stones.

"Oh _fuck_." He took off running for the third time that night.

_00000_

Jayne Cobb, for all his talk, really wasn't that fond of being in charge. He'd waved Zoë who in turn promised to find everyone else and get back to Serenity as soon as possible. First priority was the safety of the ship and right now it was a sitting duck.

He pulled down the ramp and made a beeline for his arsenal. This was the hard part. He didn't like to get Vera wet, and Jane, for all her style, couldn't be caught dead in the drizzle.

"I'm sorry Doris, but you gotta understand it's for the greater good." Jayne grabbed the shiny rifle and took off for the cargo bay.

He skidded to a stop outside the door to the catwalks. _Crap_. He'd left the ramp down. Serenity had company, the worst kind. Six of Viper's thugs were attacking cargo bins with large knives. All were heavily armed. Jayne stepped back into the hallway and fished his com out of his pocket.

"Zoë, they're in the cargo bay. I'm in the 'walks and if you come from behind, we can trap 'em in the dock. They'll get caught in the crossfire."

"I can see the dock from here and I got everyone, and…Jayne, they've got three guys postin' watch outside. To get to the guys inside, we gotta start with these boys out front and that'll raise a commotion we're not like to want. It'll startle your boys right quick."

"Fine, you 'n Simon take out the boys in front. Hopefully that I'll draw some o' them out and I can deal with whoever's left. Keep Kaylee behind to deal with any complications. Just put Liz away, she couldn't hit the mule from forty feet and she'll just get in the way."

"Affirmative Jayne. We go on your mark."

"Right…"

Jayne peered out in the cargo bay again. The thugs had made their way through most of the boxes and were starting to probe at the floor. One set his gun down and reached out to catch a crowbar.

"Now!" Jayne opened fire just as the man made his catch. He went down first. Two others had their guns raised and fired, and the booms outside suggested Zoe was engaged as well.

Jayne sunk down lower behind his barricade. Somehow these idiots had lasers, really good ones, and they were cutting right through the metal paneling. Suddenly, he smacked his forehead and reached down to his belt. Seconds later his flash bomb exploded and Jayne rained down fire on his disoriented attackers.

"Heh, suckers."

Outside, Zoe wasn't having nearly as much luck. Simon wasn't that great a shot and Kaylee could barely hold a gun let alone pull the trigger. The three lookouts knew what they were doing, so Zoe and the others had taken behind a makeshift barricade. This type of fighting was pointless. It wasted amo because you were essentially you popped up and shot, aiming at nothing, and dove back down, all the while waiting for something to happen. Preferably something in your favor.

This came in the form of Jayne, who roared and gleefully jumped into the fray. He kicked an attacker from behind and shot at another. The third managed to jump behind a discarded engine cover. The fallen attacker picked himself up and dived for cover.

A scream broke through the chaos. Blood gushed from Kaylee's shoulder and she fell back with a shudder. The scene reached new frenzy – several more men fired from the entrance of the docking bay trapping Simon, Liz, and the fallen Kaylee. It was reinforcements, and not the good kind. Liz picked up a gun and started firing. Her shots were neither help nor hindrance. They aided the chaos that had escalated out of control.

Simon dragged Kaylee into a corner and tried to stop her bleeding. Liz was trying to make herself disappear. Jayne adopted a dance, punching one man, shooting another as effectively as possible. Blood ran seeped from a wound to the leg and a gash on his cheek.

Jayne plopped down next to Zoe, just missing a laser zap. The undead from inside Serenity had woken up.

"What's our position?" Zoe covered her head. A laser beam barely missed her elbow.

"There's four dead inside, means two with lasers. Four of those new ones are dead or wounded, means five total."

"Kaylee's down, Simon's with her. It sound like Liz has lost it. So you and me against five, including two lasers. Oh hell." Zoe looked defeated.

"Whoohooo, you thought you'd start the party without me?" Mal opened fired, followed by two thumps and a scream.

The rain still fell softly through the grating in the ceiling.

Mal's glorified entrance didn't last long. A well-aimed laser beam blew the nozzle off his pistol.

"What'd you do that to Jenny for? She didn't do anything to you, nothing that you didn't deserve anyway." Mal dropped the useless weapon and slowly raised his hands. One laser was trained on Jayne and Zoe, the other at Simon and Kaylee. The third and fourth thugs, both showing signs of injury, had guns pointed at Mal.

"Your crew caused me a lot more trouble than I'd liked. We were just gonna take the cargo and make the boat go boom, but now, now I'd like nothing more than to riddle you with so much lead the outriggers'll harvest you for scrap." A man with a metal plate for a cheek laughed.

"Zoe, what do you say to that?" Mal wiped the blood from his grazed brow.

"That doesn't sound like the best plan, Sir."

"I'll say. Why don't you take the cargo and burn the ship, but leave off with the killing part. It's the best of both worlds."

"I don't think so." Metal Cheek took aim.

"Me neither." Heads turned. River threw her leather bag to the ground.

She jumped into the fray and exploded with unfollowable movement. Zoe and Jayne opened fire and Mal ran to Simon and Kaylee.

"She's bleeding out. I need to get her to the infirmary _now_." Kaylee was pale and sweating and Simon looked terrified. He hadn't noticed River's return; his focus was entirely on the dying Kaylee. Mal lifted her arms and Simon grabbed her legs and followed the wall, trying to stay out of River's battle.

"Zoe, get this boat runnin'. Jayne, help us." Zoe took off for the bridge. Jayne took one last look at the blurred image of River. She was in complete control against the four thugs.

Jayne took Kaylee's arms from Mal and helped Simon to the medical bay. Mal reached for a discarded pistol aiming to rejoin the fight.

"Drop it." Metal Cheek aimed his laser at Mal's forehead. River was absorbed in a one-on-on battle with another thug. The rest lay dead on the floor.

"What's your grudge against me and a gun? They're pretty handy." Mal chuckled and raised his hands again.

"We're gonna do this nice and slow. I came here for the merch and I ain't leaving 'til I…"

The metal plate flew of his cheek mid-sentence along with the rest of his face. Bone splinters, blood, and brain matter splattered and Metal Cheek fell forward revealing the image of River and a laser gun. Gaze unmoving, she rotated her arm and shot her fallen assailant in the chest. Silence fell over the docking bay. River looked at her laser.

"I'm keeping this." She put it in the thigh holster under her dress and picked up her bag.

"I can't take my eye off you, can I?" River trudged up the ramp. Mal shook his head.

"Little darlin', that was impeccable timing."

"I thought I was an albatross," she smiled.

"You can be whatever the hell you want as long as you keep showin' up the way you've been doin'."

The two surveyed the damage to the cargo bay and dragged out the dead bodies and empty broken cargo containers. Jayne, having done his part, came out to do the same.

"Well I'll be god damned. Crazy's really back." Much to Mal's surprise, he swooped the girl into a tight hug.

"That was a nasty thing you did, leavin' us all without any sort'a warning. It messed with Simon, hell, it messed with all o' us real bad."

"I know. I'm sorry. But guess what? Not crazy anymore."

"Really, like really really? No more guns and crazy talk or becomin' a space ship or anythin'."

"Nope."

"Well how'd that work out?"

"River?" They turned. Simon stood dumbstruck unsure of what he saw.

"Yes." Her eyes filled with tears and she took a hesitant step forward. Simon also moved slowly, dumbstruck by what he was seeing. They continued this dance, compressing the space between them moving slowing toward each other. They pushed at the barrier of emotion formed in her absence. To reach her meant pushing through the doubt and betrayal and sheer inability to grasp the fact that his sister stood before him.

Simon reached forward tentatively. His fingertips lightly stroked her face with the precision of a blind man. He remapped the wide eyes, the small mouth with a larger lower lip, and the long nose. He reached behind soft ears, tangled his hands in the damp brown hair. River reached and pulled him forward and the two meshed in an inseparable hug. Mal nodded at Jayne and the two made their way to the bridge, leaving the brother and sister to rediscover each other.

_00000_

"How is she, sir?" Zoë lifted the boat out of its bay and they reached space a few seconds later.

"Kaylee or River?"

"Well, I guess both of 'em. Is River coming back or is this a one time deal?"

"Zoë, that's not fair."

"Sir, she left of her own volition and I'm just trying to deal with the damage."

"You can't blame her for what happened. So I don't wanna hear any more o' this kind of talk, you hear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Mal, what are we gonna do with all the soma?" Jayne leaned against the doorframe.

"For starters, we gotta find another buyer and get it out from under Liz's…oh no, where's Liz? Did she get on? Wu de ma, did we leave Liz?" Mal rushed down to the cargo bay, closely followed by Jayne, and knocked on a door of its adjoining guest rooms. There was no answer. Mal slid the door open. Liz was curled up on her bed hugging her knees in the fetal position.

"Liz, are you ok?"

"Just shiny Captain." He put a hand on her shoulder, and looked down alarmed. Her blanked had a large red wet spot.

"Liz, you're bleeding. You've, you've been shot!"

"Oh, is that what this is? I can't really feel anything, see, so I wasn't sure." Her voice was faint and she was shaking. Mal reached down and picked her up. Her entire stomach was bloody.

"Simon, Liz took one to the stomach and forgot to mention it. You've gotta tend this quick. Simon broke away from River hesitantly. She put a hand on his chest and pushed him back. This threw him back into doctor mode and he rushed with Mal back to the infirmary. Kaylee was still soaking in a blood bag in the main chair so Mal had to lay her on the sideboard. Simon put on his apron and cut open her bloody shirt.

"Oh god!" A gaping chest wound stared up at them oozing blood.

"Mal, get me more blood bags. Jayne, bring the tray over." They rushed away to perform their tasks.

"Liz, why didn't you say anything about this? It was a really _really_ stupid thing to do." Simon probed the wound with a gloved finger trying to ascertain the extent of the damage.

"I've seen this kind of wound before. It never ended well. I figured I might as well make myself comfortable."

Simon shook his head with disbelief. He picked up the anesthesia and seconds later Liz was unconscious.

"She's going to need serious work, but I can take it from here." Simon looked back at River, torn between his want to never again part with his sister and his need to doctor.

"I'll stay in case you need a hand." Mal nodded at River and went out. She reached forward to stroke the sleeping Kaylee's hair.

"Jayne, can you scrap her sheets. There's no way that stuff'll clean out." Jayne took off for the guest compartment and Mal headed back up to the bridge.

He stopped in the mess to pour himself some water. His nerves were on fire from the action and his head was starting to throb from the absence of alcohol. Mal slumped on the couch and rubbed his forehead. This was certainly the most excitement they'd had in three years. The melancholic blah that held the ship in a headlock was already starting to release its hold. If Kaylee and Liz pulled through, Serenity might actually become…happy again.

River entered silently as always and poured a glass of water.

"For Simon," she motioned.

"So you're really better?"

"Yup."

"How?"

"It's a long story."

"One you're plannin' on tellin' anytime soon?"

She grinned ruefully. "Eventually."

_00000_

Floating in open space on autopilot bound for Virgo Minor and a dealer willing to pay asking price for pure soma, one by one the crew went to bed. Kaylee was deemed well enough to sleep in her own bunk and Liz was moved to the main infirmary bed. In the darkness, River quietly slid open her door and slung her bag over her shoulder. She tiptoed to the infirmary where Liz was sleeping fitfully. River placed her fingertips on the girl's temples and closed her eyes. Liz murmured and fell silent.

"A trick you picked up on your travels?" Mal stepped out of the shadows. River set her bag on the counter and pulled out a large plastic box.

"One of many." Mal moved over to her side to see what she was doing, curious. She pulled up her right sleeve. The crook of her elbow and the length of her forearm were full of syringe holes. She pulled a rubber tie out of the box and wrapped it around her upper arm, tightening it with her hand and teeth. A mult-loader followed the tie and she put in three small liquid cartridges.

"River, stop. What are you doing?"

"Do the crew know you've become an insomniac."

"Don't change the subject. You're about to shoot yourself full of who knows what…"

"I know what."

"And I need to understand. Do you understand? You owe me that at least."

River sighed. "You're going to need a drink. I'm going to need a drink." She untied the band and started towards the kitchen. He followed. Two shots of sake later, River sat back.

"You know the Academy messed with my brain. They cut parts out; they changed chemical ratios and made a royal mess of things. I knew I had to restore what was altered if I stood any chance of becoming permanently lucid. It turns out that was only part of the problem. That's why Simon failed.

"Everyone is intuitive to varying degrees. It's a sixth sense, the knowledge that you're being followed, or where something's hidden. It's why I was so good at everything as a child. It came naturally because I knew what to do before I started. Some people are gifted not only with intense intuition, but the ability to read thoughts and know things before they happen. They're Readers. This is why the Academy wanted me, because I had potential. They stripped my amygdale, where the brain processes emotion. The surgery heightened my reading abilities. Sure I still would have been able to read minds, but not to the same degree. They made me an unnaturally strong Reader and they took away my body's natural abilities to protect me.

"I found a Reader, Allegra, on the planet Sirius. She taught me what every trained Reader eventually learns, how to keep the ability in check. We take in every form of human stimuli available. Every thought, every memory, every emotion and action. It's enough to make anyone crazy. Readers have to learn to give it a psychic push to keep it away, out of our heads, and we have to learn to control it. If we push too hard, we can project our own will on others and can damage those we read. Though sometimes, as you saw with Liz, it isn't always a bad thing. It just requires control. Allegra helped me find it. It's not a cure, but it keeps me sane. It's a close to serenity as I'm ever going to get."

"What's with the drugs then?"

"I'm always pushing. As I sit here I'm pushing away your fear, your confusion, your…Inara." The image flashed before her eyes.

Mal looked down at his glass.

"When I sleep," she continued, "I can't push because I'm not conscious. It's what caused my nightmares. I'm flooded with everything I've held back which ups its intensity. I shoot up drugs and neurotransmitters every night; flood my brain with serotonin, among other things. It knocks me into a deeper sleep than the body is capable of achieving on it's own. It's dreamless and it's not ideal, but again, it's the best I can do considering the circumstances."

She stood up. "Speaking of which, I really need sleep and so do you."

He stood up as well. Mal put the sake bottle back in its locker and followed River towards the crew rooms. He opened his hatch. She turned back.

"Mal, I am _so_ sorry for what I did to you, to Simon, to this ship. I can feel the gloom, the depression and sadness. I know what you had to do to honor my wishes, to keep them from looking for me, to force them to move on though I guess they never really did. Especially Simon."

"You're family albatross. You needed this. Who was I to say otherwise? You deserved some faith in you. I'm sorry we couldn't muster any. But things'll get better now that you're back."

She chuckled, "I'm also sorry about our absurd reuniting. I wasn't planning on kissing you, just keeping you from getting shot.

"And I appreciated that. As for the…other thing, you did what you had to do." _Plus I haven't been kissed in a while._

River chose not to acknowledge this.

"Good night Capt'n." She faded back into the darkness.

Mal rested his head on a rung of the ladder. Things were going to get better. Things were _whole_ again. The family was complete.

So why was he so apprehensive?

_Inara_. The image flashed again. The softly curling hair…the face he dreaded to read…her eyes pleading. Mal shook his head and lowered himself down.


	3. The Secrets

**Name**: Flannery Chalke

**Title**: Serenity: Allegro

**Rating**: T for language (and maybe some sexuality later on if I can write it.)

**Disclaimer:** All characters (w/ the exception of Liz) come from the mind of Joss Whedon. They belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Fox, Universal, and anyone else with legal hold. I'm just along for the ride.

**_Please please please_ review**. It's like sugar and caffeine combined and shot straight into the bloodstream (I'm assuming). I will love you forever if you do!

**Thanks** _so_ much to the lovely reviewers of my first two chapters. You all are so wonderful! Please keep letting me know if you enjoy!

On with the show!

_00000_

**Chapter Three – The Secrets**

As Serenity hurled through the black, life seemed to shift slowly. In one day Simon smiled more that he had in ages and Kaylee laughed more, and it wasn't the dry, hollow exclamations that Mal had heard over the past three years.

Jayne was…Jayne, and Liz and Zoë went about their daily business despite the latest batch of battle scars, but the overall tone was lighter. Someone had pulled off the covers and they all stood blinking in the sunlight trying to figure out which way to go, just happy for the change in atmosphere.

One day Mal left the bridge and saw the Simon and River sitting across the table from each other. She held his hands and he was struggling not to cry. Their eyes were locked in a way he'd only seen from the Tams, exchanging information through the particles floating in between them. She told Simon her story and he understood their need to reconcile. Simon failed her and River betrayed him, and yet forgiveness came without hesitation. It was the way they were.

Mal saw everything, which was expected. He was the captain; he was supposed to know what was going on. Simon had his moments of anger and frustration that he nobly tried to contain. He couldn't have helped River control herself. He couldn't have taught her to hone her skills and to stop her nightmares. Mal also knew Simon harbored a secret bitterness. It was _his_ job to fix her. Without it, what did he have? He knew River knew it, too.

"Mal, how long are we going to be on Virgo Minor?"

"How long are ya gonna need?"

"A day. I need a port address to wave shipments to. A little more than a day would be best."

"Then it's yours." He sighed into the glass of sake and tossed it back. She did the same.

After the first midnight confessional, their nightly sake sessions became habit. Mal couldn't sleep and River didn't want to most nights, so they settled back into symbiosis. River harbored a secret fear of becoming totally dependant on her drugs and tried to space their use. Despite the frugalness of it, she clung to hope that there would be a day when she could be totally whole again. It was a failing battle in a losing war, she knew this, but it was all she had. Mal understood, having found himself there before.

This was the hardest challenge, hiding his personal bitterness. After the events on Miranda, he'd found a purpose of sorts, one that seemed as noble as any. Hell, the protection of his albatross was the most honorable thing he'd ever done. It wasn't a volunteer position. It had to be taken up, and he _had_ to be the one to do it.

When she left, he found himself in the same boat as Simon, lost and unsure how to keep going. His purpose had deserted him of it's own volition, and still he had a ship to captain which made it all the more difficult. He could feign control under pressure, but the years had taken their toll. It was undeniably harder this time around. The blow was more personal than he would ever admit.

River did damage control as best she could. She spent long hours with Simon and Kaylee, cleaned weapons with Jayne, and helped Liz learn to shoot. When she'd fully recovered from her chest wound, Liz was determined to make herself of use to her benefactors. She went to Jayne, but quickly learned that he wasn't up to explaining the logistics of the thing. River soon took over.

"You can't close an eye when you pull the trigger."

"But with one eye shut, I can see the target clearly. With both open the target blurs."

River took the gun and pointed it at the target set up in the cargo space.

"Do you know how the eyes work?" Liz shook her head. "Each eye sees from a different point. There's only a small space between the points," she pointed to Liz's eyes, "but then the brain takes the images and puts them together like you've got one big eye in the center of your forehead that sees everything centered. When you close your right eye, you see everything from the left's perspective, not the centered picture. You shoot at the target, but it's been shifted to the left, and thus no hit. You just have to learn to focus with both. Does that make sense?" Liz nodded uncertainly.

After a few more attempts, Liz finally shook her head.

"I'm just not a very good aim."

"It takes practice. Keep working on it." She rested a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"I only just met you, and yet I'd know you anywhere. They said you were in the shadows and from time to time I saw them flicker, and I figured it could only be you. They mourned you hard. I think that's why they took me on. I couldn't pay nearly enough, especially when my want add showed up on the cortex. They needed someone to fill the silence, and there's no way I could've done that."

Images flashed in River's head, smoke and fire and blood, and she pushed them away.

"Your presence was always here, always felt, even when you weren't."

River nodded.

_00000_

They landed on Virgo Minor, a mini metropolis surrounded by uninhabitable marsh, without incident. A buyer was found for the soma close enough to asking price for Mal to hand it over without comment. He just wanted to be rid of the stuff.

Given their extra time on the moon, Jayne took off to find some play and River left in search of her packages with the rest of the crew in tow. None wanted to admit it, but River would not be leaving anyone's sight. She signed for a midsize metallic cargo locker and opened a packing crate. She lifted out an ornate box and absently passed it to Mal so she could clean up the packing material. Suddenly she shot up.

"I can take it…"

"It's from Inara." Mal tried to hide his shock. River looked sheepish.

"I waved her." He nodded. It was perfectly within her right; River and Inara had bonded after Miranda. They shared their standing on Serenity, part of the crew but never quite willing to believe it. The way River saw it, there would always be an unbreachable barrier maintained by Inara's status and her own questionable sanity. She knew Inara was crushed by her departure, almost as much as Simon and Mal, and she'd left Serenity permanently not long after. Mal was glad they'd stayed in touch, but it still made him uneasy. He didn't like to think of Inara these days.

Simon and Liz shared a look of painful curiosity. No one questioned River's secrets. She carried the sleek box from Allegra and the ornate one from Inara back to Serenity and made a beeline for her bunk.

Mal, Simon, almost everyone had tried to tiptoe around this new secret. Aside from Mal and Simon she hadn't told anyone about the past three years. No one asked for more than she told them, paranoid that something would set her off and she'd be gone again. The wound that lay raw and gaping with her departure had been cheaply patched, and all were paranoid the slightest movement would tear it open once more.

Simon shifted weight from foot to foot, longing to follow River to her room. Mal was slightly perturbed by the six grown humans all standing awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed. Even more disturbing was Kaylee's scowl, the first one he'd ever seen.

"Well come on then. She's not going to let us into her tree house; we might as well look for entertainment elsewhere." She took off for the kitchen. Simon, looking sheepish, followed her.

The rest of the crew watched them go, and no one noticed that River had slid open her door and watched the commotion. Silently, she followed the two.

"Well, I guess the rest of the ship is officially off limits until they figure somethin' out." Mal nodded in Jayne's direction. The remaining four departed in search of temporary occupation.

River watched Simon and Kaylee from the kitchen doorway.

"Kaylee, please understand, she's my sister."

"You don't think I understand? I've been understandin' for the past three years. She left and you might as well have left too, for all that remain'd o' you. She left and you broke and you wouldn't let anyone try an'…try an' fix you. She was all you needed, you made it quite clear." She paused, holding back a sob. "You let yourself lay around broken and all I wanted was to fix you for a change. But you wouldn't let me."

"Kaylee." He took a step toward. She put her hand up.

"Please Simon, just go away for a little while, ok. Just go away." When he didn't move, she sighed and exited towards the engine room. Simon looked down defeated.

"Let me," River whispered. She crossed the kitchen and entered the engine room. Kaylee was stroking Serenity with one hand and wiping her eyes with the other.

"What's she telling you?"

Kaylee whipped around. "She's telling me that she got broke three years ago and the rough patch job you put on her ain't gonna hold much longer if you keep staying to yourself."

"Kaylee, I'm sorry for what I did to your home. For what I did to Simon, and what that meant for you and him."

"River, you were his life. You took away his life; you killed him. He gave up everything for you and how do you pay him back? You disappear in the middle o' the night with not but a little hologram for comfort. His job, his friends, his future, all gone and I know what he did was the right thing to do, but him stayin' here with you, that justified it, everything he lost. It justified him. Not nothin' but you." She broke down and, despite her tirade, accepted River's offered embrace.

That night at dinner, the crew was still tense. Zoë had found a produce vendor and a large portion of the soma money went towards fresh food. She cooked it with Kaylee and the smells soon drew everyone else to the kitchen. Real food wasn't just to be eaten; it was to be experienced.

River was the last to join them at the table. Her arrival was met with a variety of responses, mostly awkward nods and a few glares. Conversation was uncomfortable. She screeched her chair back and returned a few moments later with the two boxes. She opened the metallic one first.

"Imitator norepinephrine to shut down the reticular activation system. Concentrated serotonin to induce short term comatose. Imitator acetylcholine in nearly toxic levels to prevent dreaming in REM sleep. Diazepam, alprazolam, lithium carbonate, chlorazepate, haloperidol, chlordiaxepoxide, trifluoperazine, imitator doxepin. " She threw bag after bag of cartridges onto the table. Liz started to cry.

"And these," she tore off the ornate wooden lid and pulled out a handful of cloth, "are some clothes from Inara. The meds induce a total comatose state, along with antipsychotics and antidepressants for good measure. It's the only way I can sleep; hell, it's the only way I can keep from going crazy! I can feel ever gorram emotion and every gorram thought this side of the Core. I tried…I tried everything! And I didn't fix myself, but this is as close as I'm going to get."

Zoë broke the falling silence, her face hard. "And it took you three years to figure all that out?"

"No." She sighed. "It took me three years to learn to do this."

She closed her eyes. Her breathing quickened and she held her palms parallel to her chest. Then, as though against some unseen and impenetrable barrier, she pushed with all her strength.

The results were beautiful and terrifying. In each head images flashed of River broken down, a woman with curly red hair, sorrow, rage, image after image of foreign people and places. River meditating, River fighting, River crying and screaming with pain. They sped too quickly to hold on to one, each lingering just enough to send its message, not long enough to be interpreted. Three years of images, River's hair growing longer, eyes hardening, face taught as she learned to control the gift she'd been given and the curse she'd been forced to bear. And then it ended as suddenly as it started.

Beads of sweat puckered along the lines in her forehead. Her knees bucked and she reached forward to steady herself against a chair. The entire crew breathed from exertion despite the fact that no one had moved.

"So is Crazy really a witch?"

And just like that, the tension broke. River burst into tears of exhaustion and Kaylee moved to sweep her up. Simon helped.

"Come on mei mei, Eat something."

Several minutes later when the flow stopped, River sat down and filled her plate.

Jayne shoveled food into his mouth. "Hey River, uh, who was the hot chick with the crazy hair?" River bust out laughing, a welcome sound.

_00000_

The dinner dishes were piled on the sideboard and most of the crew had gone to bed. River shoved her boxes, all secrets revealed, under her bed and went back to the kitchen. Mal had already drowned half the bottle of sake and it showed.

"That was quite the display at dinner." The slight slurring of syllables was a sure sign that this would take an interesting turn. Mal wasn't the best drunk.

"I gave up the last of my secrets. Let the healing process begin." She poured herself a glass.

"That's what you meant, that you can project your mind on t' others. How far can you go?"

"It's actually easier to just let yourself go in space for miles and miles. The problem then becomes how to pull yourself back, which is almost impossible if you aren't in control. What I did tonight, projecting my memories, it took a lot of work, just like it takes work to read people the farther away they are."

Mal downed another glass. He rubbed his face.

"And you can still do what you did before, see the future and hear people's thoughts?"

"Yup." She downed her glass. "I can even search through other people's memories. I'm a lot more dangerous that they ever thought I'd be," she murmured to herself.

"Can you see…can you see Inara?"

"Yes, though she asked me not to. I try to respect her wishes."

"You've talked to her?"

She hesitated. "I stayed with her for several months after I left Allegra's complex. Inara helped me get my bearings."

"Well I'll be…she could'a had the damn decency to 've said something. I waved her from time to time, you know how broken up she was about your leaving?"

"Yes. I asked her not to tell you where I was. She was kind enough to oblige."

"I see. Now tell me, are we all just puppets for your casual use, or just the ones who really care?"

"You know I'm sorry. I know what you had to do. I've seen it. What you did to Simon for me."

"Yeah, I bet you do. I shot a man in the back who'd finally learned to trust me so that you could go traipsing through space lookin' for a woman who would teach you to 'push'. Hell, Jayne could'a given you the basics o' that particular..,"

"That's not fair."

"What? You made me keep a promise I didn't wanna…"

"You didn't have to keep it. In fact why did you, oh honorable Captain Reynolds?"

"Gosh, I don't rightly know. You seemed well enough as it was 'fore you left. I guess the itty bitty boat got too small for the little albatross."

He knew it was wrong and regretted it the moment it left his mouth.

Her face hardened.

"Right, I seemed well, just perfect. A human wave transmitter processing ever gorram signal for a fifty-mile radius. I enjoyed the unending Serenity show, oh wow didn't I just. Because you see, in my head you're all animals. Stripped down to the most basic, raw, emotions and hormones broadcasting at high volume out of every pore. Do you think I enjoyed Kaylee's constant sexual frustration or Simon's perpetual confusion or Jayne…oh don't get me started on that…screech of static. And you, you Malcolm Reynolds, don't you even get me started on you." She stood up, turned on her heel, started forward, then whipped back.

"Damn you Mal. I _love_ this ship." She sped down the corridor.

After two quick cups of coffee, he eased his way down to infirmary. River had just shot the multi-loader and was untying the rubber from her upper arm when he knocked on the infirmary doorframe. She didn't turn.

"I understand what you needed. You said you were looking for your own serenity, which you knew I'd understand no matter how much I didn't want to."

"Mal, this stuff…"

"Wait, hear me out. They took your brain, your home, your faith, and your family, save for Simon. I of all people should'a defended what you did, not tear you to pieces. I've been there. I kept my promise and I shot Simon in the back because I knew what you needed. I knew why you left me your hologram, which by the way got Simon all stung up 'cause he didn't get it first. Anyway, I'm right glad your back and I'm glad you're better, though it doesn't mean the leaving hurt any less. You're Serenity's albatross, and my albatross, and I…"

"Mal, Mal, this stuff's fast acting."

He barely caught her in time.

He picked her up, as light as that night in the Maidenhead, and carried her to her bunk. He managed to lay her down and pull a blanket over her before his head started swimming and his vision went black.

River awoke to Mal sprawled on the floor. She leapt forward and shook his shoulders. He grumbled something and she shook harder. Eventually he rolled over and rubbed his eyes.

"Where am I?"

"Too much sake makes Mal sleepy."

"River?"

"Come on. Simon will flip if he finds you here. He's very protective you know."

"Wait, what?"

"Less talk, more moving."

She propped him up with her shoulder and helped him up the stairs. They passed through the kitchen and she pushed open his bunk hatch.

"Think you can make it down ok?"

"Uhh…sure albatross."

He started down the ladder and River followed deftly behind. He slid down the last few bars and when she reached the landing he was leaning against the wall, still too sleepy and drunk to keep himself upright. She propped him up once more and draped his torso over the top of the bed, then reached down to pick his feet up at the other end. She draped a blanket over him.

"River, what are you doin'?"

"You did the same for me."

"Wait, River, you need to see. You need to see I didn't push her away."

"I know you didn't."

"Still, here, see. Please."

"Mal…"

"_Please_."

She sighed and reached forward, placing her hands on his temples. She breathed slowly and surely, and then _pushed_.

_Author's note: it was purely coincidental, I swear, but as I was writing this last scene, Joni Mitchell's River came on itunes. Even better, it fits the scene well. _

_Ta ta, and please review. You've all been so wonderful thus far; I love hearing from you. _


	4. The Detour

**Name**: Flannery Chalke

**Title**: Serenity: Allegro

Chapter 4 – The Detour

**Rating**: T (for language and implied sexuality)

**Disclaimer:** All characters (w/ the exception of Liz) come from the mind of Joss Whedon. They belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Fox, Universal, and anyone else with legal hold. I'm just along for the ride.

**_Please please please_ review**! You reviewers out there, you're wonderful people!

_Author's Note:_ This chapter really was a detour for me. I wasn't going to give Inara screen time except via other characters, but while I was watching _Firefly_ instead of doing homework, I realized that she deserves more treatment than what I was going to give her. This is what I give you now.

_00000_

**Chapter 4 – The Detour**

The crew of Serenity was still reeling several months after they'd stood dumbstruck in the kitchen listening to a hologram no one wanted to believe. So when Inara announced that she would be leaving as well, the silence was thrown aside in exchange for massive uproar. Even Zoë broke composure late one night to beg the Companion in her own quiet way to rethink her decision.

But Inara was set in her way and, gracious as always, would shake her head no when asked to reconsider. Even more disturbing, she never gave a good reason why. "It was something she needed to do" didn't count anyway. No one thought it was possible, but Serenity reached a new level of gloom.

Mal was extremely frustrated. The home that he loved and nurtured had been reduced to a fragment of its former self, decimated in a very short amount of time. He'd cultivated a family and in the space of a year, that family had cut itself in half and reeked more havoc on his emotions than he would ever admit to.

In a desperate attempt to make things right with his world, he stormed in on Inara packing.

"Inara, why the tyen shiao duh are you leavin? 'Cause I can't wrap my head around it. You've got yourself a perfect livin' situation here; you have no reason to leave that I can think of."

"I see you're making thinking a regular habit. How is that working out?"

"Inara, there ain't nothin' funny 'bout this."

"I know. Here's the forfeit paperwork for the shuttle lease and the rent through its end. I believe those were the terms of the contract I signed."

"Oh juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan. I don't care about the lease or the money. I want you to stay here, and if you're not going to stay, I want a real reason why you feel the need to go. It's only fair."

"It's my business."

"That's not good enough. I don't care what you go tellin' the rest of the crew, I think I got the right to hear the truth."

"_Why_ can't you accept this? Why can't you just remember me here, in my shuttle or on the ship, just remember me the way I am right now. It will help and the pain will fade. You'll be fine, ok? I know it hurts, but you need to accept this."

She brushed her fingers against his cheek, an endearing move that made him stiffen, but he couldn't back away.

"I know what River did hurt more than you've shown. I know how cruel I am to do the same. I know it's wrong to ask you to accept it, but please take it for what it is. I cannot stay here any more."

He broke away, his vision fuzzy, but found he couldn't move further.

"Please Mal, please accept this. Yell, get angry, say _something_." She was crying now, which gave a desperate quality to her voice. He couldn't stay any longer.

Defeated, he stumbled into the cargo bay and slammed his fist against a pole again and again. He was drowning and couldn't swim up to where the air was. He wanted to scream, to shake her tiny frame and wrench a confession from her perfect lips. But there was no air and no strength to speak.

_Images jumbled in forward motion, then slammed to a halt._

Inara shifted from one foot to the other, her skirts swaying softly, very out of character for the graceful Companion.

Always a gracious captain, he had walked her to the top of the stairs of the Companion training complex that would become her new home. Unable to meet her eyes, he did not see her mask slip and show her valiant effort to keep emotion in check.

"I still don't understand why you're doin' this Inara." He finally looked down, but this time it was she who looked away, unable meet his eyes, so, tired and distraught, he extended his hand, stopped, retracted it to wipe on his rumpled red shirt, and finally offered it to her.

She took his hand and shook it gently, a perfect handshake, just long enough and with enough pressure to feel the softness of her skin. He felt the slight shift of her wrist as she pulled her hand away. The wind blew softly on the mountainside and he smelled something nice.

"You know how to reach us if you need anything…anything, you hear, that you could need. You're one of mine whether you like it or not, and I…" He looked away again.

"Yes, of course I'll keep in touch."

Struck by her break from silence, he looked down and immediately wished he hadn't. Her normally perfect face wasn't…right somehow. Smiling, frowning, or creased in outright anger, this was the Inara he knew. The face in front of him, trying to say something and nothing in the same moment, eyes screaming with pain and frustration and the need to run and the want to stay rooted within arms reach, it was all too much to bear. The space between them stretched outward, swirling around their throats cutting off the air, more painful than any moment they'd had on the ship. She turned away first, unable to breath. He heard her gasping sobs but her stride remained regal as she walked away from him. He stood alone on the balcony utterly lost and hopeless, distraught beyond comprehension, feeling nothing but pain and sorrow and too much emotion to stand.

_00000_

River took her hands from Mal's temples. He'd fallen into fitful sleep, but River was consumed with residual emotion from the memories. She tried to stand, she had to get away from the toxic waves of pain that washed over her unrelentingly, but found she could not keep her balance. She sat down slowly on the floor next to the bed and pulled her knees to her chest. She wrapped her arms around them and rested her head in the crook of her elbow. Then she cried and cried, long and silent.

Later, Mal shook her shoulder and River slowly uncurled sore muscles. She was still too raw to deal in nothing but truths.

"She was sick."

"I know." He rubbed his face with his hand. "She didn't think she could tell me, but I knew. I wanted her to tell me."

"You loved her. She loved you, too. She did this for love, in her eyes anyway; didn't want you to see her as she would become. She wanted to stay beautiful for you, even if

only in memory."

"How is she?"

"She's always in pain."

Mal looked away.

"She's on medications that slow the degeneration. I don't know how long it will keep her. She's lasted this long, but it costs her a lot."

"She could never tell me that she loved me."

"Neither could you. But she knew."

River stood.

"You should tell her before she passes. I think she'd like to hear it."

River climbed up the ladder leaving Mal to tend his hangover, and opened the hatch just as Kaylee was leaving hers.

"River, what have you been up to?" She smiled conspiratorially.

"Are you an' the Captain…"

"No, he'd just had too much to drink."

Kaylee grinned, still not quite convinced.

"Well that's too bad, 'cause the Capt'n sure could use some attention to…"

"Kaylee! He already gets plenty of attention from Serenity."

"Sure, but a ship can't do for a man what a good tumble…"

"Shhh! She'll hear you!" River smiled and stroked the metal lovingly. Kaylee started to giggle, and soon peals of laughter echoed through the halls. They stumbled into the kitchen and soon were doubled over and gasping for breath. Simon sipped his tea.

"What, pray tell, is so amusing?"

_00000_

No one asked questions when the ship's course was altered or when the planet Honore came up on the radar. No one asked questions when Mal left Zoë in charge of the ship and put on a clean shirt. They all went into Honore-proper and no one asked questions when Mal took off for towards the steps of the Companion training complex. River led everyone to a local restaurant she'd frequented during her stay and no one asked how she knew where it was.

Warm dinner and cold drinks loosened up the tense crowd, and after coming clean about her six-month sojourn at the complex up-mountain, River entertained them with stories of her life there.

"Did you get yourself any trainin' while'st you was there?" Jayne's eyes were glassy.

"Wouldn't you like to know!"

Simon sputtered into his drink. "Jayne, no. River, no, tell the drunk man no."

"Awe, I think it's sweet, River learning to, uh, walk pretty and the like. I wanna see!"

With a smirk, River glided out of her chair and lightly sashayed around the table, her booted feet silent on the wood floor. She picked up Liz's glass and refilled it, bending so her lips almost touched the girl's neck. Liz giggled nervously and Kaylee broke into hysterical laughter. Zoë tried to scowl. River set the pitcher down and handed to the glass back to Liz. Jayne lurched and fell out of his chair, spilling his drink on the floor. His head popped up.

"Looks like I need a refill." Simon slapped the back of his head. River sashayed back to her seat.

"Hey, that is my sister. _My sister_!" He reached forward and swept her into a hug.

"Did you learn anything else you'd like to share with your one and only brother?" He whispered.

She wrinkled her nose. "You have no idea."

Up at the complex, the mood was much more sober. It had taken him over an hour just to climb the damn steps, and now he had to deal with the devil in the machine. Mal fiddled with a hole in his coat sleeve while he waited for the skittish trainee who answered his ring to call the Greetings Mistress. Such formality made Mal uncomfortable. He wasn't used to it and he hated having to act like he did, which wasn't often, and thus made it all the more unpleasant. The Greetings Mistress entered, sized him up in the space of a second, and gave him a shallow head nod. It was the least formal of the proper greetings, meant to reflect his status or lack thereof, but Mal followed suit, just happy it was over and done with.

"I need to speak with Inara."

"Miss Serra is not receiving visitors at this hour."

"Begging your pardon Ma'am, I won't be but more than a few minutes o' her time. I've come a long way and I'd be mighty pleased if you could bend these rules just the once."

"Miss Serra is indisposed…"

"I know, Ma'am, about her illness. But she's family…"

"Are you related to Miss Serra?"

"Not in the strictest sense o' the word, but she was with my crew on a ship for near four years time and I came to think o' her as such. She left and she didn't think to tell me 'bout her gettin' sick, so I'd just like to see her the once and see how she is, if she's ok."

"If Miss Serra did not feel the need to tell you about her condition, I don't see how…"

"It's alright Naomi," The voice floated out from behind a decorative curtain at the back of the greeting hall. "Please take him to my receiving room."

With a curt nod, Naomi gestured stiffly towards a door at the side of the room. She opened it and led him down a hall and through a series of courtyards. All were decorated with small fountains and statues. Most had seating areas and lush flower arrangements. He was bombarded by the same wistful scent he'd smelled two years ago.

Naomi gave three quick raps on a panel door, turned, and hurried away, glad to be rid of him. Alone in the fading light, Mal suddenly felt anxious and exposed in the tiny courtyard. The door opened and Mal stepped into a large sitting room. Windows in the ceiling opened to the dusky sky and well-placed lights warmed the room with their dimmed glow.

Inara, or veiled figure he assumed was Inara, sat on a low couch and reached for the tea things. Definitely Inara.

"So Miss Serra, what's with the getup?"

"You shouldn't have come here Mal, dong ma? I only invited you here to keep Naomi from hating me because you wouldn't leave."

"Hey, she was the one gettin' all testy. I just wanted to see you."

"Well, here I am."

"But that's not seein' you. You're all covered up." He went and sat across from her on another couch.

Her head and shoulders were swathed in shimmering veils hiding all but her eyes. Even these had lost their magic sparkle and her eye-sockets were sunken and colored like a faint bruise.

"How is River doing? Did she get the fabric I sent?"

"Don't change the subject."

"She was worried, you know, about coming back to Serenity. You wouldn't have recognized her when she showed up here. I don't even know how she knew, though I guess we'll never know how that girl's head really works. It was unnerving, she radiated power but I'd never seen her more lost, even before Miranda when she couldn't tell up from down. She's come a long way since then."

"That came as a shock, hearin' about her stayin' with you. How long was she here?"

"About six months. It was good for her, I could tell. She really came into herself, I think, being around other women, plus girls her own age. Of course, by that age they start to learn the more…intricate skills of a Companion."

"You mean she was…with…?"

Inara laughed. "She was nineteen at the time, not a child anymore. Besides, the Honore training complex is one of the finest in the galaxy. It trains both genders for Companionship. They practice on each other for mutual benefit."

Mal made a face, trying to shake away the image that cropped up. He sipped his tea.

"Why didn't you tell me about you gettin' sick? I get that you felt you had to leave, but why couldn't you tell me?"

"How did you find out?"

"It wasn't long after you checkup on Persephone that you chose to leave. It just took me a while to put the pieces together."

"I see."

"Inara, I want to see your face."

"Mal I think you should leave." She stood up and gestured towards the door.

"Damn it Inara, you're not a leper."

"I may as well be. Do you remember what I told you on the ship, that I wanted you to remember me the way I was then? It still holds. I don't want you to see me like this, and I need you to respect my wishes." She slid open the door.

He stood and walked slowly towards her until they were inches apart. He could see tears welling up, resting against the long black lashes.

"Inara," he whispered and brushed her lips with his. A tear fell.

"You will always be beautiful to me." He kissed her again and again and again and finally she put her fingertips to his lips. She slid the door shut and reached back for the pin that held heir veils in place. She slowly unwrapped them, layer after layer off her head and neck and shoulders and threw the bundle on a couch. Mal reached out and took her hand, pulling her into the light.

The glowing skin had lost its luster and was pulled taught against her cheekbones and jaw. Her beautiful black hair lay limp and thin, its curl loose and lifeless. Her robe hung on bone shoulders and her collarbones lay jagged below her throat. She reached up with a tiny hand to brush away more tears then hugged herself defensively.

"Say something, gorram it."

"Inara, I love you."

This broke her and she began to weep openly. Mal folded her into his chest and let her cry. When she finally calmed, he reached down and cupped her chin, lowering his own to kiss her again. This time she responded openly, wrapping her arms around him. He lifted her effortlessly and carried her to the bedroom adjacent.

"I love you, too."

"I know."

On the bridge of Serenity, River sat back and nodded to herself.

_00000_

River felt like her head was going to explode. She'd managed somewhat successfully to block out the emotions and images that cascaded down the steps of the training house and swept round and round Serenity. But then there were Simon and Kaylee who'd drunkenly stumbled down the ladder to their bunk and Jayne with someone and Zoë's constant grief that would have acted as a damper if it hadn't been completely overpowered. River had lay in bed but her sleep dress made her feel stiffed so now she sat curled up in her copilots chair in naught but her undergarments and a shirt trying as best she could to push away the waves of pleasure that whirled around her head. She was failing and she was miserable. Serenity couldn't protect her from herself.

Finally, frustrated, she stormed out of the bridge. Zoë was cutting up an apple in the kitchen, unable to sleep.

"I'm spending the night at the complex."

"I'll let the Captain know."

"He won't be back tonight." She didn't wait for a response. She peeked into Liz's room when she passed the girl's room. She'd fallen asleep on her computer again. River pulled on pants, her boots, and her blue silk jacket. Opening the ramp, she disappeared into the black.

While River was trying to find the complex's hidden elevator in the dark, Mal held the sleeping Inara. She felt fragile, like a tiny, hollow-boned bird whose wing would snap if it fell from the nest in his arms. She shifted slightly, nuzzling his shoulder with her nose. Her eyes blinked open.

"Go back to sleep." He dropped a kiss on her forehead.

She sat up, hugging blankets up around her. She leaned forward to hug her knees. He could trace down her jagged vertebrae if he'd wanted. Her ribs caged her torso.

"Mal," she muttered sleepily, "you can't come back here. This was too hard, seeing you I mean, not being with you. I'm going to keep getting worse and I don't ever want to see what that is reflected in your eyes. It's too painful. I love you Mal, but you need to let me go. I need to let you go."

"Well, hat am I doin' here then? I mean, we just…I thought…" But he stopped. She was right. He loved her and he loved being with her, but love would not conquer what was killing her slowly but surely. Watching her shrivel up and become someone even she couldn't recognize, she would hate herself and hate him for seeing her as anything but the beautiful Inara Serra. Her life was beauty and love, and stronger than both, a firm sense of reality. The Inara Serra he'd known, beloved and praised by thousands, was already gone, a shell of the former Companion who loved the sky enough to leave one of the most beautiful planets in the galaxy. She needed to hide, to fade away, and to leave behind a glorious memory of the galaxy's most famous Companion, and he needed to let her.

"Alright." He kissed her once more and tried to sleep.

The next morning, he dressed quickly and took one last cup of tea with Inara. She was back in the veils again, but her eyes had regained some of their sparkle. He tucked her arm through the crook of his elbow and she escorted him through the maze of corridors and courtyards. In one, several trainees were eating breakfast. One let out an unladylike whoop at several girls dancing. There was no order to any of it, just people stirred by their shared joy of movement. Inara acknowledged the waves in her direction with nods, befitting of her station. It took Mal several minutes to realize that one of the dancers was River, swirling and kicking and laughing. She was spinning round in naught but a red silk robe with an apple in one hand. Inara called out to her and she waved, the apple flying out of her hand. Another girl caught it. She laughed and took a bite. River wove her way through the low tables, stopping to drop a kiss on the sandy hair of a male trainee. He stroked her calf and she mussed his hair, then continued over to Inara.

Breathless, she gave Inara a tight hug.

"I see you were getting reacquainted," Inara laughed.

"I forgot how nice it is here. And the food…I could live here. Not that I'm going to Captain."

Mal's smile wavered, unsure of how to respond to all of this. Sensing his discomfort at, among other things, the state of her undress, she bid the couple goodbye and went off to change, promising to meet them on the entrance balcony in ten minutes. The sandy haired boy got up and followed her out.

"Is he…should I be lettin' Simon know 'bout this?"

"Gareth is a very nice boy from a good family. If anything, Simon should be happy his sister is…interacting…" She burst out laughing. Mal's horror was too funny for words.

River was late for the rendezvous, and when she jogged it, hair mussy and breathless, the conclusion was obvious. Inara had said goodbye to Mal earlier and he turned to kiss her forehead. River and Inara exchanged kisses on either cheek, the proper Companion greeting, and then Inara pressed a cream colored envelope into River's hands.

"Please read this and wave me with your answer." River nodded, puzzled. Mal had started towards the stairs.

"He doesn't know there's an elevator, does he?" She whispered.

"No. The exercise is good for him." With one last kiss, River and Mal left Inara standing on her mountaintop home.

Mal struggled to make conversation as the descended the steps.

"So, you an'…Gareth…"

"He's actually from Osiris, though we lived in different quadrants. He's very nice."

"I'll bet."

She swiped at him.

"I'm glad you took my advice."

"I guess. It was hard to see her like that. But I understand how she feels now, more so than I ever would have if she'd stayed on the ship. I would'a been fussin' tryin' to get her to see doctors and she'd've had no peace in the 'verse. Save for you, I guess, 'cept."

"I know. But even I would've been too much for her. That's why she stuck me on Gareth, and I'd only been here for two weeks."

Mal blushed in spite of himself.

When they got back to Serenity, the ramp was open and Liz was hard at target practice once again. The poor girl hadn't improved much.

"Gorram it girl, stop blowin' holes in my ship!" Mal went up to the bridge to get Serenity fired up and River closed the ramp.

"Liz, eyes open! Both of them." River took the gun.

"Ok, here, close one eye. Now point at the target." River positioned herself in the direction of Liz's finger. She was two feet right of the target.

"See. Both eyes. One won't get you anything but a very angry Mal." She handed the gun back and shut herself up in her bunk. Lulled by Serenity's hum, she had to read Inara's letter, then twice more just to make sure. She fell back on her bed and curled her feet to her chest as Serenity broke atmo and soared into the black.

_00000_

River decided not to tell Mal that Inara went off her medication the day they left. Mal had given her the one thing she'd wanted, acknowledgment of a long-held unrequited love, and now she saw no need to draw out the pain of her degeneration. Nearly four months to the day that Serenity pushed off Honore, River woke to the sound of a heart stopping, peaceful, miles and miles away. She said a prayer for the dead and rolled over to muffle her sobs with her pillow. The worst was yet to come.

She didn't want to be the one to tell Mal, and thankfully the job was done for her. He answered the wave the next morning while River flew. It took him several minutes to stop the flow of gibberish doubt and River was thankful she was the one flying.

"River Tam is a passenger on your ship, is she not?"

"She's the copilot. Why?" Mal had gone quiet, and his voice was scratchy with contained emotion.

"She's agreed to preside as High Priestess over Miss Serra's burial rituals."

"She's what? Wait, I don't…"

River punched the autopilot and went to computer.

"I'm here Maiga. Inara gave me complete instructions. We'll be along in two days." She turned off the computer and turned to Mal. He sat frozen, staring off into the black.

"You knew, didn't you, all this time that she was gettin' worse?"

"Yes."

"Why do none of you women like to tell me anything? I would've appreciated some gorram notice." He stood up abruptly and left the bridge. River sighed, punched the new coordinates into the NavSat and sat back down.

They let her off on Honore, promising to meet her on Sihnon, Inara's home planet. Kaylee, always ready with hugs, gave her a huge squeeze. Zoë was piloting. Mal hadn't left his bunk in three days.

River lay still as veiled Companions performed the pre-rituals, the cleansing, the henna painting, and dressing of the High Priestess. She had to be silent until the end of the rituals a week later. When the first part was completed, she turned to attention to Inara. River could barely push open the door to the resting place and spilled scented water on her skirt. She shook and struggled to steady herself as she neared the body. Inara was practically a skeleton. Skin clung to her bones and it was mottled, greenish. Clumps of her hair had fallen out. River set her bowl down, trying desperately not to be sick, and lit incense on a side table. She pulled the letter from her pocket, its edges worn from use, and consulted it once more. She'd memorized it during the second read, but she liked to imagine Inara's voice speaking each round syllable. She folded it and returned it to her pocket, then hit the gong sitting in the corner. Behind a screen, several girls began the mournful death chants and River set to work.

She washed Inara's corpse with jasmine water and a sponge, which paralleled the Companion cleaning ritual performed after every client, then dried her with fine linen. There was a pot of henna on the table, and River painted the patterns and swirls to match her own. She rang the gong again to summon aid and Inara was dressed and jeweled as finely as the greatest head priestesses of the Companion Guild. Her hair was styled to hide the bare patches on her skull.

River was besieged by the sadness of it. Beautiful, beautiful Inara had suffered the worst sort of death. It had swooped down and tortured her, slowly peeling away each exquisite layer and rendered her completely helpless to stop it. She'd endured nearly three years of physical and mental agony that left her a living corpse. Plagued by this by the bitter irony on her walk back to her room, River fell and retched into a potted plant. It took her several minutes to realize that a warm hand was rubbing her back and holding her hair. When she'd finished, Gareth picked her up and carried her to her room. He tucked her into bed and lowered the lamp and she was asleep by the time he'd closed the door.

That night, she dreamed of Mal. He was sick into the waste chute, then stumbled back to his desk to grab a near empty bottle of firewater. He tossed back the last of it, then lurched to bed. The movements of his bed ritual were jagged caricatures of the normally careful Mal. Boots were thrown against the wall, followed by shirt and suspenders, and then he was sobbing with drunken abandon. The two lay floating in space tied together by all consuming grief.

River went with the body on the ship to Sihnon along with the entire training house. The whole chapter wanted to honor their fallen sister. The burial pyre was set on one of Sihnon's lush cliff sides. Looking out of a preparatory tent, she saw hundreds of Companions, people she assumed were family and friends, and of course, the tiny family of Serenity. She knew Mal wasn't there. He sat on the bridge a ways away from the proceedings. River reached out to brush the tears from his face, the image held so fiercely before her eyes, but then pulled back her hand. Nothing but air.

A handmaid repainted her henna and dressed her in flowing copper silk that billowed in the breeze. Her hair was perfumed and jeweled, but finally, she waved the girl away. Leaning over, she said goodbye and kissed Inara's cold lips and then summoned the pallbearers.

She could barely bear the processional. The wind whipped her hair and her gown and the thousands of grief stricken sobs drenched her unrelentingly. She'd had sense enough to prep herself with an injection, and now the chemicals fought against wave after wave of emotion. River wanted to run, wanted to sob, wanted to scream and shower her grief onto everyone else for a change. Instead, she followed the body to its resting place on the pyre and continued with the ceremony.

The Ritual of Ashes took twenty-four more hours of silence on her part, and slowly but surely the crowds eventually faded away. It was Serenity's tiny family, the ragtag bunch that time had whittled down to five, that stayed the longest. They stayed to honor their sister, their mother, their healer, their counselor, their friend, and their love. Eventually they too left, and River stood alone with a gilded jar of ashes that were sprinkled into the wind on interval. When at last this final task was finished, just as the sun was rising nearly a week after she'd woken covered in cold sweat, River trudged back home.

The ramp was down on her beloved ship and the crew stood in half circle, ready to embrace their final member. She approached just as the sun topped the cliff edge. She was breathtakingly beautiful. The molten amber silks swirled and ballooned gracefully, played with by the sea breeze. Her hair danced on it; the sun catching on the tiny jewels braided into the wavy brown and hung on her neck and arms. She was ethereal, a statuesque goddess, and she was theirs.

She walked up the ramp, her face strained. She hadn't cried since that first night and she rocked with the pressure of unreleased emotion. They enveloped her and Mal turned to Simon. He acquiesced with a nod and Mal reached forward and folded the goddess into him. Her sobs broke forth, shattering the silence. They wailed her heartbreak, her pain, her profound loss.

One by one, the crew left the cargo bay, leaving Mal tightly clutching the goddess. River felt wetness on her shoulder and worked her arms free to wrap around his back. She could feel his heart beating through his shirt. He gave comfort without question of his own need for it, though she tried to do the same. He'd had the chance to start grieving, and now he was letting her start to untangle the web the week of silence had locked her into. They stood together, bound by the same love and loss. They stayed enclosed while Serenity broke atmo and flew through the stars towards an unknown destination.

_00000_

_Authors note:_ If you caught my Star Wars or Pirates of the Caribbean references, you get an A. If you caught them both, A! And if you'd like to give me an A, or any grade for that matter, (subliminal message: REVIEW!) please do!


	5. The Job

**Name**: Flannery Chalke

**Title**: Serenity: Allegro

Chapter 5 – The Job

**Rating**: T

**Disclaimer:** All characters (w/ the exception of Liz) come from the mind of Joss Whedon. They belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Fox, Universal, and anyone else with legal hold. I'm just along for the ride.

**_Please please please_ review**! You reviewers out there, you're wonderful people! It really makes my day.

To the lovelies who have reviewed thus far: Donna Lynn, Buffycoo999, Deirdre Reivyn, angelcat70, Jazz4, screaminheathen69, WannaBArtist, angw, magiknight, NeatScreenName, butterflydragon, jax319, PlayKate, Kitty Rasputin, Vampbarbie, and AngelicSheDevil. You all rock like nothing else. Thanks for the support!

_Author's Note:_ Finally, some real Mal/River action. I've been waiting for weeks to write this.

**Chapter 5 – The Job**

_00000_

Their evening rendezvous were put on hold during the mourning period and moved to the bridge after Mal discovered River's nocturnal habit. She liked to roam around while everyone else slept, moving along the catwalks and grating with one hand on a metal pole or siding. She took comfort from the gentile hum of her beloved ship and its soft reverberation echoed from hand through bones and calmed her tired body. No one was supposed to know, and looking back, she realized Mal was the only one who could have heard the whisper of her feet on the grating. He was connected to his ship as she was and there was no place on it where she could hide from him.

He found her in her copilot chair with her feet up on the dash. She was in summer sleepwear as was everyone because anything else would be stifling. The heating system was malfunctioning for the second night in a row. The heat from the engine had somehow routed itself through the vent system into cabins and common areas. Everyone was feeling the effects. For Kaylee and Simon, this meant more time down in the bunk, probably why the problem hadn't been fixed yet.

River twirled her long hair into a rope and twisted it at the back of her head, securing it in a single, graceful motion. There was nothing that girl did that wasn't graceful, he thought to himself, then blushed when she turned.

"Sit."

He did so, suddenly realizing he was shirtless, and shivered.

"I fixed the heat problem."

He nodded. For some reason, he felt awkward, unable to converse. This was the first time she'd talked to him since that day on Sihnon when he'd held her weeping and exhausted, a little more than a week ago.

"We are all made of stars."

"What's that now?"

"All major compounds are formed when stars explode, in supernovae. Silicon, Iron, Carbon, at one time, we were all bits of stars, burning and burning until one day we couldn't take it any more and burst in a fraction of a second. And we can never go back."

She wasn't helping his conversation problem.

"But I went back. One day I let myself go. On Micah, where I trained with Allegra my first year gone, I just lost control. I was tired and in pain from training and experimental medication and I wanted it all to end. So I became the stars, the black, became the tiny particles we can't see but sit between elements and matter. I was everything and nothing, and I couldn't make it stop. Allegra was the only one who had enough control to bring me back. She followed me, every piece that flew away and brought each one back together."

He hadn't noticed his jaw drop slightly, a look of pure awe and admiration. She was startled by the intensity of it.

"Not really gone. I was just sitting in a room, but my mind had flown out with the stars and the space in between." She'd stood up and walked, in her casual floating manner, to place her forehead up on the glass. Her back to him, Mal couldn't help but notice the curve of her spine and her calf, the arch of her foot when she stood up on tiptoe. She closed her eyes, acknowledging silently.

Another night, he found her bent over the cortex. She flicked it off as he stepped forward, but tonight he was ready for her and wearing a shirt.

"What are you lookin' for?"

"They raised my bounty again. It's been almost five years, and apparently I'm still worth something to Them." She placed slight emphasis on the last syllables. Old wounds still not healed, nor should they be, he figured. She had as much right as anyone to her brain and her faculties and she'd fought like hell to get some of 'em back. She was dancy tonight, flighty, maybe uneasy? Damn girl sensed his inquiry. She spun around him and took her seat picking up a mug of tea as she sat down.

"Zoë never mourned, did she. Not really." It wasn't a question. Her mouth formed a hard line and Mal nodded.

"There was always something to keep her occupied. You leavin' and Inara leavin' and a mite few more jobs once the two o' you were off the radar. She's a soldier and she knows how to keep things down in the dark where they can't get in the way. I tried to talk to her a few times, but I didn't want to press her. I always figured she'd deal with Wash in her own time."

"That was three years ago, and he's been gone four."

"I'm not her mother. Zoë's a grown woman, and who am I to tell her what to feel or how to feel it?"

She frowned at his terseness. He didn't like where Zoë was any more than River did, but he wasn't following her thought process, which made him nervous.

"You and me, we broke down over Inara, but then when the grieving was done, we put ourselves back together. You have to break Zoë."

"What? River, what do you mean?"

He met her eyes and couldn't break away from their fire.

"You have to break her down into tiny pieces and then you have to reach out and put them back together. She has to mourn and then she has to move on. She's dead now, dead inside, and you have to wake her up."

He looked incredulous. "And how am I supposed to do that?"

"You have to be her Sergeant and then you have to be her friend. You'll know when to switch between the two."

Obviously it wasn't as easy as she made it sound, and confronting Zoë about her feelings was the last thing he would normally volunteer for. One day River found a job and he presented it to the crew, putting Zoë out of his mind. Two days later they were arming themselves on Marlowe, another gritty mini metropolis on a mostly uninhabitable planet. They entered a warehouse, guns blazing, to find it empty.

Jayne looked sheepish. "Wrong one."

They had more luck two doors down. The guards went down without a fuss and everyone scurried to match crate serial numbers with the ones scrawled on their hands. There was a screech of tires outside and Mal, River, Zoë, and Jayne took up fighting position. Somehow, unconsciously, River had fallen to Mal's right, Zoë's usual stand. Zoë fell back unceremoniously, and took battle stance to one side, catching their attackers off guard. They'd stormed in via military truck that broke open the door to the warehouse. Despite this setback, the resulting scuffle was ridiculously short. Mal had forgotten what it was like to have River on his team. Her aim was perfect and her trigger finger fast.

They'd taken out everyone when one of Jayne's rounds set fire to the truck's canvas roof. A soldier jumped out the back. He rolled onto his back, his gun aimed at Zoë. She charged toward him. He fired but the aim was off, probably due to the fearsome warrior woman barreling towards him. She jumped round his side and kicked the gun out of his hands. River hit him square in the chest with her laser and he fell still. Mal and River exchanged a look. He grimaced. Obviously he hadn't talked to Zoë about her feelings yet, and River's glare demanded he do it soon.

They loaded the crates into the smoldering truck and drove it aboard Serenity. Twenty minutes later, they exchanged the crates for a heavy sack of coin. The gangster's dank meeting room smelled like rot and a lot of other unfriendly things, and everyone was happy the transaction didn't take too long. The whole job, from start to finish, took less than an hour.

"Why couldn't they have stolen their own crates of tyen shiao duh?" Jayne scratched his head, hanging back to match Mal's slower stride and to watch the girls from behind. They were walking quickly and trying to laugh off the awful stench of the place and the memory of the ugly leering men.

"Since when do we ask questions about the jobs we take?"

"Since the jobs started takin' place not more'n a stone's throw from the buyer."

"Well I forgot to ask. If you want to go back into that gorram hole and try, by all means go ahead, just try not to piss of the large man who scratched his man parts whenever he looked at you."

Jayne made to slug him, but Mal ducked and laughed. The girls had gone ahead, but when Mal and Jayne went up the ramp, they were surprised to find River, Liz, Simon, and Kaylee all dressed to depart again.

"Where do you all think you're off to?"

"We're going shoppin'" Kaylee twisted her skirt, her nice skirt, which meant they weren't planning a short trip. Liz, who'd spent most of the afternoon barely hitting her practice target, was buzzing to get planetside.

River sashayed forward and pulled Jayne's holster strap up over his head, a sensual move and burning look it had taken weeks to master at the Honore training complex. No one could meet each other's eyes for fear of laughing at Jayne's joyfully surprised expression. Mal couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. Was River making a pass at Jayne? Unfortunately, Mal hadn't gotten smashed in the bar on Honore and didn't get the joke. She handed the gun to Mal, their eyes locked, her face turned serious for a moment. He read the knowing look perfectly, what it asked of him. And then she spun away a moment later and the small party went off on their way.

Mal looked down at the gun, then into the cargo bay. Zoë stood at the top of the ramp.

"Where are they going?"

"I have no idea." He turned, put his arm around her and led her back inside the ship.

Two hours later, privy to the war that was raging back on her beloved ship, River drowned her drink and shuddered. When the storm finally broke, she signaled and the group took their party back home. Zoë was nowhere to be found, and Mal sat, worn, in the kitchen. Simon and Kaylee were still dancing to the music they'd left behind, and Jayne was trying to entice Liz towards the same. River pulled out the sake bottle and set a shot down in front of Mal who downed it gratefully. She took one herself and poured for others, careful not to spill.

Eventually the kitchen emptied, and River took her sake glass to the bridge and slumped, exhausted, into her familiar seat. Mal followed her.

"How'd it go?"

"I figure you know the answer to that question." He'd brought the bottle and drank a generous gulp.

"You know it was the right thing to do. She'll cry and then she'll mend."

"I know. Doesn't make it any easier though, does it." She nodded and stood. He opened his mouth, stopped, and looked up at her.

"I was scared t' do it. I could always count on Zoë. I've seen her in all kinds o' pain, and I know I've been the cause of it more'n once, but this, I try not to hurt the people I care about on general principle."

"She was a strong branch to snap. You attract strong women, you know? Zoë, Inara, even Kaylee knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. They all will. Liz is stronger than she'll ever let on. Even Saffron." Mal sputtered.

"And you?"

"You know me."

"I'm not so sure. Every time I think I got you figured out, even a little bit, you go dancin' around and mess me up. I understand parts of you, I think, cause we've got more in common than almost anyone."

"We sure do."

"But I'll never really get you. Sometimes I think I don't want to, but other times, like tonight, I'd give anything to be in your head for a change." She smiled and twirled, her hem brushing against his slack arm.

"Sometimes I swim in your head. You smell like Serenity." He reached to swipe at the flowing cloth, but she leapt back. She reached up to stroke Serenity's ceiling and he shivered at the grace, suddenly cold. She swirled again and stopped to pick up a plastic brontosaurus. She stroked its spiky spine and he lost himself in the movement of her hands. She reached over and deftly pulled the sake bottle from it resting place between his legs. She took a final swig and sashayed out.

"Go to bed Malcolm Reynolds."

He watched her sashay into the dark until he could no longer separate girl from ship.

_00000_

He found her skimming the cortex several nights. One wave, she said, was from Gareth, asking for a semi-permanent address, another from Allegra inquiring about her health. He never saw faces; she must have sensed him coming and made her goodbyes, and she was always a little skittish afterwards. Did she want to keep her two worlds separate? The only link between them was Inara and she was gone now. The only person who could have given him any answers, besides the wild creature herself, couldn't help him anymore.

River spent hours during the day locked in a one-woman dance of punches and kicks and flips. She used the cargo bay to her full advantage, eyes always closed. He wondered if there was any method to the beautiful madness; was she reliving past experiences, was there any opponent at all, or was this just another dance? When Liz went to target practice, now under Zoë's watchful eye, River took to the catwalks. This was the way she practiced, he realized, this was how she managed to stay sane. She danced during the day, flew Serenity, and pieced her tiny family back together. At night, she sat on the bridge with him. Sometimes they talked about the day, about potential jobs, and sometimes they would sit in peaceful silence. He liked to look at her when she gazed out into the black, never sure if she knew he was staring. Did she miss her sojourn with the stars? She had to know, he did it often enough, and yet she never looked abashed. She would meditate sometimes and he would watch the light from other ships dance across her face and torso.

This new fascination bled into his dreams. It had started the day she returned from Inara's funeral, the day he'd allowed himself to weep in the presence of someone else. That was what did it, he figured, he opened himself up to another person almost unwittingly, and he'd forged a connection he wasn't entirely sure he wanted. The beautiful goddess with her flowing river of hair and copper silk and sunlight and whatever wonderful scent she'd smelled of when he'd held her, the scent he couldn't bring himself to wash out of the shirt. Her image would come floating towards him when he dreamed of war, banishing the bloodshed with her sunlight.

Then one night, it came rushing back, the night on Beaumonde when she'd kissed him to save him and he'd felt her skin and kissed her neck and stroked her thigh trying to find her gun. He didn't want this, didn't want to admit he wanted this, but it wouldn't go away. Mal woke up each morning feeling awkward and sheepish though alone in his room. He was embarrassed when he saw her preparing breakfast or cleaning guns with

Jayne or talking quietly with Zoë over tea. Then she would go to her dance or to fly the ship with her usual smile of greeting. If she saw these dreams, she didn't let on.

Besides, it was better to dream of a beautiful woman than of death and screams and free-flowing blood.

When he woke up early one morning to sticky sheets for the first time in years, _decades_, he wanted to panic. What could he do, really? Throw her off the ship? Nothing short of a self-inflicted lobotomy (maybe Jayne would do it?) would make the dreams of folding his amber-draped goddess into him stop.

He struggled, frustrated, into his clothes and leapt up the ladder. River was in the kitchen in her red silk robe. She'd just shoved one of Liz's scones into her mouth.

"Mal, there's a job on the cortex. Let us know." She took off the towel that covered her wet hair and shook out the softly curling strands.

_Crap. Not helping._

He went up on the bridge and missed her knowing smile.

The job had good prospects. It was dicey but the pay was too high to pass on, and besides, he thrived on a challenge. After the crew assembled around the kitchen, Mal gave his usual speech about the dangers and anyone's right to back out during the planning stage. It was just a formality at this point.

"What are we stealin' this time?" Jayne bit into a scone.

"Didn't ask."

"Alrighty then."

They landed on New Jupiter, one of the Core Alliance planets. The arsenal was brought forth, and much to everyone's surprise, Liz was the first to reach for a gun. Mal looked skeptical.

"Are you sure about this little one?"

"I've been practicing and I'm finally getting pretty good. I'd like to try this out if no one has any objections." Everyone looked to Zoë, the only person who could give a decent assessment. She nodded.

"Girl's tellin' the truth. She can finally hit the damn thing, even on the moving shots from time to time. Plus learnin' in the field's the best way to learn."

A nod of acknowledgement went round and Liz smiled at their acquiescence. Everyone took their weapons of choice and departed.

Mal looked over Jayne. "We're just meetin' the man, not killin' him. What's all the armament for?"

"This is my second very favoritest gun. Momma said to always be prepared, and from what I heard about this guy, I might need her. Doris deserves a good fight after ya threw her down on Beaumonde after not near ten seconds, which, by the way, ya haven't ever apologized for."

"I am not apologizing to a gun."

"Ya can't ever have her 'gain if you don't say sorry."

"That's fine with me. Her kickback almost broke my…"

Jayne stopped. "Do not insult Doris or I will…"

"What? You'll what?"

Jayne looked stupefied.

"I wish we had a capture, we all look so shiny." Kaylee skipped forward to link arms with Simon, who shouldered his gun to pull her closer.

_I wonder what my parents would say about this._ The tiny voice floated in River's mind. She looked at Liz who was doing her very best to look like she belonged with the ragtag group of thieves, though today, they'd dressed up for their client, a powerful and respected lord of the underworld. Normally Mal liked to avoid crime clans at almost any cost, but these days, they were the only ones with any money worth earning.

Zoë walked behind Mal to hide her tiny navigator. In New Jupiter's lower levels, you needed to look like you knew where you were and where you were going. Otherwise, you'd fall prey to the first merc looking to make a quick buck and wind up dead in the process. She'd nudge Mal shoulder before major turns, allowing him to maintain the semblance of control over the group. The dark alleyways of the low levels smelled…not of old wet and death like Beaumonde or sweat and piss on Persephone, this was grease and pain and the foreboding stench of villainy.

They roamed through the maze trying not to meet anyone's eyes. Finally Zoë put her hand on Mal's shoulder to stop him at the mouth of a dead end. Three heavily armed bodyguards stood partially hidden under a bright red canopy at its end and a faint light from inside illuminated the doorframe. Mal walked forward, Zoë at his right and Jayne at his left, the tiny army of few behind. No one noticed River fall back. Liz was trying to remember where she'd seen the symbols painted on the canopy before.

"Does anyone have any food? Some fruit, an apple maybe?"

"Gorram it girl, this is not the time for eatin'."

Liz tried to speak again but only a squeak came out. She'd been on Serenity for almost two years yet Mal still intimidated the hell out of her. Kaylee fumbled around in her bag and pulled out a shiny red apple.

"How'd this get here? Anyway, here, take it."

While the guards escorted them in, Liz tried frantically to reach the head of the processional. She pushed past Kaylee and Simon, but the couldn't break the trinity at the head. The room they entered was surprisingly dark considering the subterranean feel of Hera's lower levels. The group was herded onto a large ornate rug in front of the desk of Ben Li-Huang. He was fiddling with a long knife while the monkey that sat on his shoulder played with his hair. It was an absurd sight, amusing and intimidating.

"These are mighty fine digs you got going on. Could use a little more light though."

Mal's voice echoed through the room and Li-Huang's monkey started screeching. Without warning, the hand slammed the knife into the desk. The guards lining the walls cocked and pointed their heavy machinery, circling the tiny group. Kaylee started to raise her hands despite the fact that one arm was still linked with Simon. Liz seized the opportunity in the general panic and pushed through the gap between Mal and Jayne. She bit a piece of the apple then spit it into her hand. On the plush carpet, she knelt and bowed forward until her arms lay flat against the ground. One hand offered the piece of apple.

The monkey on Li-Huang's shoulder jumped down and took the apple bit. He tested it, then began to munch. Liz reached out and stroked its hairy arm, then broke off another piece of apple when it had finished the first. Li-Huang called the monkey back with a sound and Liz rose. She walked back to her astonished group that parted like the Red Sea to let her in. She handed the apple to Mal.

"Speak softly." She whispered. He nodded, very unsure of what he was witnessing.

Li-Huang stroked the monkey who had returned to his shoulder. It was finishing it's second apple bit. Mal looked around, surprised that the guards had lowered their weapons and looked…bored. He played with the familiar hole in his coat sleeve. This was getting too weird for him.

"You have one week," Li-Huang broke the silence with a cool, lightly accented drawl, "to find me something. It is in a storage facility on Hermes. I do not know exactly where. My other hirelings were identified by the facility's retinal scanner and were executed. I do not wish to give false pretense. There is a very good chance you will be captured and killed. That is why the price is high. And if you reputation is accurate, Captain Reynolds, you are up to the challenge, no?" He threw a bag on the table.

"This will front any preparatory expenses. I highly suggest an investment in false retinas."

"Now wait a minutes. I don't mean to be rude, but you haven't told us what exactly we're looking for or where to even begin looking for it. I agree with you, the price is mighty fine, but what good is it if we don't know what it's on?'

"I suppose you're right." Li-Huang picked up an ornate fountain pen and scribbled on a sheet of fine linen paper.

"This is the serial number of the crate, and this is the amount you will be paid if you can get it here in four days as opposed to seven." Mal stepped forward to take it. The monkey scrambled forward, arms out for more apple. Mal broke another bit off and gave it to him and then took the paper and put it in his pocket.

"You can go now."

"Well ok then." Mal gestured and out they scurried. The group stride was much faster this time round. Jayne growled at anyone who looked remotely sinister. Everyone was extremely confused. When they came in view of their docking bay, Liz felt herself swept forward by the bodies of the crew. They pushed her up the ramp, and as soon as the ramp closed, they circled her.

"If you don't mind my asking, what the hell was that all about?" Mal was skittish.

"He's a member of the Li-Huang clan."

"Yes, I know. Is that supposed to mean something?"

"They have an interesting history." She looked around. Everyone was still staring.

"When members of the Li and Huang families married back on Earth-that-was, they formed a very powerful commercial alliance. They received a huge piece of the contract to ship the citizens off Earth-that-was because of their technical development facilities. They were given several planets as payment, a seat in the Parliament, the usual. Of course they were into organized crime. Their reputation was absurd. They would test clients with silly riddles, weird things like that. It was the hyphen on their banner that got me. The sect is fond of animals, lets them do the judging of character. It's weird, but if the animal likes you, you're set."

"And what about the bowing. Am I gonna have to do that next time?"

"It was just a sign of respect seeing how you pissed him off. Don't do it again, thus no bowing."

"And how do you know all this exactly?"

"I research things."

Mal looked incredulous.

"What do you think I do all day? Sit around and stare at the wall? I have to educate myself. It's the only thing I can do on this boat. Plus, I'm only fifteen, so…" She looked startled. "I mean…um…"

"So you were, you were…thirteen when we took you on, is that what you mean to say?"

Liz wanted to disappear.

"What were you doin' runnin' away at thirteen? I mean, I know the world ain't the greatest place, but I can tell you got some good breedin' in you. What could you possibly be runnin' away from at that age for?"

"You took River on when she was barely sixteen."

"That's different. She had you to look after her."

"And we've looked after Liz." Zoë stepped forward and put an arm around the girl. Still nursing wounds from her 'talk' with Mal, she had no problem stepping up to the challenge in his voice.

"Fine, fine, anyway, we need you to get on that computer of yours and find this crate on Hermes. It's one of Persephone's moons, meanin' we got a decent burn to pull through if we want to make it back in four days." He handed her the paper and her eyes widened at the sum scrawled on the bottom.

"Don't mind that bottom part, just find the crate."

She nodded and took off towards her bunk, head still swimming with zeros. She didn't come out until halfway through dinner. She set her laptop on the table and the hologram projector on a bowl of broccoli.

"Hermes has eight major storage facilities, each owned by private firms. I hacked into the archives of each – and boy was it tricky, but don't worry, it's not traceable – and I found the crate number in facility four, owned by the Taschi firm. It was incarcerated on…well, a while ago, before they started keeping accurate records, that's for sure." She scanned the screen and typed rapidly. A blueprint projected above the table.

"Keycard entry should be easy to override, I've got the tech in my room. I can't find anything about guard locations or shifts, though employment records suggest there's at least two-dozen at a time. I'm thinking we gas the place and go in with masks. The issue is the retinal scanner."

"I'm not gettin' me new retinas just to go steal some crate for a toady mob boss. I like mine just the way they are." Jayne was indignant.

Mal leaned back in his chair. The girl certainly had enthusiasm, and now a desperate need to prove her place on the ship.

"I have contacts that block the scanner waves. At least two pairs, maybe three." The focus shot from one end of the table to the other where River was playing with her chopsticks.

"Ok then, I'm not gonna ask. Here's the plan. Since we don't have the tech to go in full throttle, Zoë, you're gonna gas the place through the vent system. Simon and Kaylee, you're shipboard for backup and Liz will do her keycard…override…thing and take care of any other security features that could be trouble. That way y'all stay out of the way of the scanner. River, Jayne and me'll head in with masks once the guards are down. It'll take some time to find the crate."

"I can give you a map based on the catalogue system I found." Liz was still typing.

"Plus I can redirect the security feed and get a thermal scan out of it. It will let you know when the guards are down."

Kaylee reached forward to hug her. "Can we keep her Capt'n? Can we?"

Even Zoë smiled.

_00000_

15 hours later, they'd broke atmo on Hermes and after touching down, the main participants went off to prep. Mal had difficulty getting the contact lenses in, but coming out of his bunk, he saw Jayne was having even more problems with them. His eyes were red rimmed and running and he kept swiping at his wet cheeks. Hysterical.

River was a strange sight. Mal was used to her in swishing skirts and flowy dresses. Now she was in stretch pants tucked into knee-high boots and a formfitting tunic. Her hair, normally dark, was now golden. She was shaking it out when he and Jayne came down the steps to the cargo bay. She flipped it back up as they came forward and laughed at their expressions.

"Color bugs. They crawl through your hair and their trail colors it. They wash out." She picked up her holster and strapped it to her waist and above her knee, and then tucked her laser in. The two men watched speechless as two knives went into each boot and into holsters strapped to her forearm. She really was a warrior woman. The final touch was a head wrap covering all but her eyes, similar to the ones she'd worn that night on Beaumonde when her eye's had pierced the darkness.

_Focus._

Like all of Mal's plans, this one had its usual setbacks. The warehouse was huge, they couldn't find the crate, the guards woke up sooner than expected, and River had to go full on ninja to keep the twenty men at bay. They'd also conveniently forgotten to include a way to get the crate_ out_ of the warehouse, much to all their chagrin.

Kaylee and Simon, who were watching from the bridge windows, stood dumbfounded as the industrial forklift crept towards the ship. Kaylee rushed down to open up the ramp, and was in tears with hysterics when the lift crept up the ramp nearly twenty minutes later.

"I guess…you…forgot…something, didn't…you." She fell over clutching her stomach. Simon was leaning over the catwalk railing struggling for air. Jayne, the driver, shot dirty looks at both. Liz peeked her head out of her room.

"What's so funny?"

One hard burn later and River set Serenity back on New Jupiter. After touching down, she leaned back in her seat.

"Would you mind terribly if I stayed here? Even with the dark of the Li-Huang HQ, I didn't like the way some of the guards were looking at me. I think it's better to play it safe this round." She stood up and stretched, revealing a strip of pale flesh at the waist. Mal swallowed.

"I need you to come with us. That whole room has guns, and if something were to go astray, you need to be there to lend a hand."

She looked pained.

"Ok, compromise. We'll be on comm and I'll wait outside at the mouth of the alley. If things get bad, I'll be there in a flash."

"Fine."

He was always uneasy when she resisted orders, though technically she wasn't flouting them. Pondering her disquiet, Mal headed to the cargo bay to find Jayne. Zoë loaded the mule to drop the cargo at a predetermined location with Simon, and they took off soon after. Kaylee handed Mal an apple.

"Just in case you gotta make that monkey warm to ya again." She smiled. Liz grinned with her. River came forward slinging her bag over her shoulder. She wrapped her headscarf and departed with Mal and Jayne. They wormed their way through the now familiar alleyways and River held back at the mouth of Li-Huang's alley. Mal discreetly brushed his lapel.

"Comm on?"

"Comm on." The voice whispered in his hidden earpiece. He and Jayne went forward and were led inside without fuss. Just as the doors were opening to the main office, Mal heard static coming from River's comm.

"Mal, I'm attracting too much attention for my liking. I think someone's following me. I've gotta keep moving, but I'll stay in the area in case something goes awry." A minute later he heard a soft click. She'd turned off her voice transmitter. At least she would still hear his end.

The trade went off without a hitch. After Li-Huang verified that Zoë and Simon had dropped of the cargo, he handed over a heavy sack.

"You don't need to count it."

"Usually that means I do."

"I assure you, if you have any problems with that gigantic sum, I'd be happy to take it off your hands."

"Well, I think we're gonna take off."

"See that you do."

It wasn't until the two men reached the mouth of the alleyway that Mal remembered.

"Hey River, we're clear. Where are you?"

No response.

"River, where the hell are you?" Mal began to panic. She could take care of herself sure enough, but he wanted some confirmation that she was ok at least. He stepped out into the crowd trying to scan for the now familiar purple headscarf.

"She not respondin'?" Jayne joined the search. "Hell, girl can take care of herself."

"She said someone was following her and then her comm went off."

Even Jayne looked panicked at this. He used a donkey to hoist himself above the crowd, scanning down. He hopped back down and growled when it's owner voice discontent.

"She said she'd stay in the area if she could. She said she'd stay close." Now Mal was really freaking out. They pushed their way through the crowds with no idea where to begin looking.

And then they spotted her at the same time, the purple headscarf bobbing towards them. River wove through the crowd, diving under parcels and over the small animals crowding the street and finally, breathless, reached them.

"I'm sorry. My comm got smashed." She held out the tiny device, now a mess of wires and broken plastic.

"Tai-kong suo-yo duh shing-chiou sai-jin wuh duh pee-goo! Don't scare us like that ever again." Before either knew what was happening, he'd reached out and pulled her into a tight hug, just to assure himself that she was really there. She reached her arms around to help reassure him. Finally they let go and she backed away awkwardly.

Jayne looked pained like he was struggling with a math problem. "Uh, can we get outta here? Since we found her and all." Having regained his composure, Mal took the lead.

"What took you so long?" Zoë asked when they got back to the ship.

"River thought someone was onto her, had to get out. It took us a while to reconnect." Still slightly shaken, he handed the money to Zoë to distribute. Dazed, he made a beeline for his bunk. Despite having nowhere to go, he wanted nothing more than to get out of there. He slung off his coat and flung himself on his bed. He fell asleep almost instantly.

Mal woke to the sound of his bunk hatch being opened. Bleary eyed, he watched River climb down, back in familiar flowing garb. She clunked a bag on his desk.

"Your share." He nodded and sat up, resting his feet on the floor. She lingered for a moment.

"I really am sorry about today. I know how much a scared you, how much you wanted to scream at me right there on the street."

"You're a wanted girl, I guess, a wanted woman now. You're under my protection, no matter how much you don't need it and I aim to see this through. You've gotta help me do that from time to time."

"I guess none of us can stop you from worrying."

"Yup." It was open ended, but when no more came out, she turned to leave.

_You left once, and I'll never know if you'll do it again 'til it's too late._ He stood and stretched and there she was in front of him all of a sudden. Her hands rose to cup his face and he couldn't break away from her unblinking gaze.

_I'm not leaving again. I promise you right now._ It rang through his head clear and true. He realized she was almost his height, and suddenly his head swam with her nearness.

If she'd held on a second longer he would have leaned in and kissed her, but she blinked and turned just as he started to lean forward. She leapt up the ladder and out of sight.

_00000_

Jayne was itching to spend his money and everyone was in the mood for real food so the party went out that evening in search of entertainment. After a good meal and very good wine, somehow Jayne ended up leading them back. To Rivers annoyance, he took a detour through the Red Light District. Simon and Kaylee were already going at each other as they walked, oblivious to everyone but each other. River was happy that they'd managed to repair the fragmented relationship and they were back in full swing. However, this reeked havoc on her senses. The Red Light District amplified this and she struggled to push away the images of entwined bodies and the waves of lust that swirled round and round her head. She briefly entertained the idea of joining Jayne in the search for someone to share her bed for the night, but shot it down quickly. The crew would be appalled. _I am twenty-one gorram it._ She shook her head and quickened her pace.

Back on the ship, River's skin was burning softly. Even the silk of her nightdress felt rough and after pacing her room several times over, she pulled on her jacket and padded up the stairs to the kitchen. Normally she loved roaming Serenity's empty common areas at night but tonight the air was grating. Two glasses of water later, she tried to meditate in her copilot chair. She knew it was no use, what with the residual mess of the Red Light District, plus Simon and Kaylee in one bunk and Jayne with…_3 women_ in his. She rubbed her eyes with her palms. She couldn't even latch onto the miserable depths of Zoë's grief, for even that had slowly begun to mend. Liz was dreaming about an ugly dog.

She sensed him coming before she heard the heard the screech of the hatch opening. Mal strode forward and took his usual seat. This was not a happy development.

"Nee ta ma duh tyen-shia suo-yo duh run doh gai si." She pulled her knees up and rested her head on them.

"What's that now?"

"Nothing."

"You know Jayne's got 3…"

"Mal." Her voice pleaded something he couldn't place. She stood up, scrunched her face and rubbed her forehead. She paced for a minute, then restrained herself against the back of her chair. In two steps, she crossed the room and pressed her lips to his. Completely caught off guard, he surrendered immediately to her wanting mouth. Moments later, reason fought to the surface and he cupped her cheeks, gently pushing her away.

"River girl, what are you doin'?"

"I'm kissing you." She moved in again, and it took every ounce of willpower he had to keep her from meeting her goal.

"I'm sorry…just…I don't think this is the best time for…this."

"Why not? I've thought about it before and I _know_ you've thought about it. You've thought about it a lot. I'm not the little girl you found in cryo five years ago. I'm twenty-one years old. Hell, you've already seen me naked."

He rubbed his forehead. "I know I've thought about it."

"More than that."

"Yes, more than that. But I've sworn to protect you. Hell, I swore to myself I'd die for you, and I don't need to get things all complicated with…this."

"You keep calling it 'this'. It's you and me. It's us."

"I shouldn't be a part of any 'us' right now. At all. You know that."

"You weren't being stupid this afternoon. I was right here," she brought her face close and cupped his, "and you wanted nothing more that to kiss me..."

He couldn't help it this time. His arms snaked around her back and tangled in her hair. She moved forward and straddled his lap, closing the space between them, and he brought his hands down to stroke her back. Her lips were fierce against his and he could taste summer wine and spices. He quickly became lightheaded and the blood rushed south. He couldn't do this. He reached up to pull her shoulders away. Her face was flushed, lips swollen, and her piercing brown eyes swam in dilated pupils. Unable to speak, he shook his head, unable to meet her eyes.

She stumbled off his lap. She tangled her hands in her hair, squeezing until her knuckles turned white.

"Runtse de shang-dee, ching daiwuhtzo!" she moaned as she tore out of the bridge. Mal rubbed his face, utterly confused and fiercely torn.

Walking past the crew bunks, Mal was assailed by the incessant moaning coming from Kaylee's bunk and rhythmic thumps from Jayne's.

"Ai-yah. Tyen-ah."

He found River on the catwalks (he should have known), leaning against the handrail.

"They're in your head, aren't they?"

She nodded. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned in to kiss her neck. She leaned back into his embrace and melted. His hands stroked small circles across her stomach and she twisted her neck back to meet his eyes.

"It's not just because of them. You know that right?"

He nodded and she leaned in to kiss him once more.

_00000_

_Author's note:_ I started writing this according to my outline and it just kept getting longer and longer! I really tried not to make it too soapy. Please let me know what you thought!

_Translations:_

"tyen shiao duh" – God knows what.

"Nee ta ma duh tyen-shia suo-yo duh run doh gai si" - F everyone in the universe to death.

"Runtse de shang-dee, ching daiwuhtzo" - Merciful God please take me away.

"Ai-yah. Tyen-ah." – Merciless hell.


End file.
